#and all of the others were normal and shouldve been a happy family

[vigilskeep]

Ngl out of like all of the dragon age blogs I’ve seen, I feel like your takes are the most correct 😭

twirls hair omg thank u

[shoyosoneandonlywife]

The absolute and ever persisting mischaracterisation people have for Oboro

This mostly comes from me constantly seeing people treat Oboro as a mindless underdog who's just obsessed with validation from his dad(yoshida shoyo) and I had recently wanted to put my thoughts into words so here it is☝🏽

Misunderstanding Oboro

The fandom, like 99 percent of the community, reduces him to a jealous character that ruined everyone's lives when even before his resurrection, he was living a tough life (servant) and when he met his dad, he felt understood and happy he got an actual parental figure and for that to be ripped away at a very young age affected, nay more like traumatised him along with the fact that he was viciously killed in front of Yoshida Shoyo.

Oboro's depressing past

Yet he could not die for a 2nd time as he was resurrected due to his dad's blood, he couldn't run away again either to join shoyo as he felt the consequences 1st hand, and wanted to protect the one man that treated him like his own child instead of brushing him off (it is often shown and stated in the flashbacks how he was ill treated and cast off).

But when he saw that shoyo was able to adopt more kids and being happy with them (not really, like we the audience know.), he got jealous like any child/teen would when their parent gives their siblings more attention, his helplessness to come to terms with the fact that he was not able to join them (cuz of naraku and the dangers) along with the fact that Shoyo was able to find peace without oboro, ate away at his conscience which instigated his salty attitude towards his own school/family, Shoka Sonjuku.

A petty feeling like jealousy causing a snowball effect

The feeling that "that shouldve been me, but I can't even join them when they're right infront me" in his mind solidifed the idea to HIM, that they could find happiness.

But in the end he couldn't give up and run to his family, due to what he had sacrificed and the predicament of him being in naraku in the first place, when he should've died young and long ago.

So that could cause him to spiral into self pity and jealousy which ultimately pushed him, in the span of a few years, to rat them out to the Naraku, "if I can't have happiness then neither can they" mindset had taken root in his heart, and anger towards Shoyo, for somewhat putting him in that predicament in the first place(in his eyes) ,-

like being semi immortal, not able to die normally, enslaved to the naraku alone and bloodstains on his hands as well due to his killings, when he could have just died without going through any of this, had shoyo not resurrected him.

Oboro learning of his dad's history

That grief is what led him to fully go through with his plan to burn down Shoka Sonjuku, after Shoyo gets executed and he literally was burning in his pyre. To Oboro's unfathomable shock, Shoyo comes back as Utsuro, his guilt was now at the forefront of his mind, he may have justified it before (while shoyo's head was severed) as justice for him, and seeing his death would have helped him push down his guilt by claiming its all over.

However, he soon became one of the first students of his to learn of his immortality and traumatising past(like takasugi later on). Moreover, seeing his parent alive when things should have been done and wrapped up completely due to the predicted death of his,

As well as not being to close the chapter of shoka sonjuku in his life, like he saltily wanted to in a moment of anger. These were ideas he was not able to accomplish due to this unforeseen twist. He then realised the true nature behind Shoyo's being/existence as well as his agonising past.

Oboro would have come to the conclusion that had he just approached Shoyo, maybe things would have been better, Shoyo could have protected him along with the others. Shoyo was more than capable to take care of his children that he took under his wing, but Oboro had realised it too late.

That guilt of betraying the one man that was like a father to him and nurtured his growth, taught him the good of the world despite going through such horrible things like Oboro threw him into a flurry of self sabotage. In my humble opinion, Shoyo was a crystallised resolution of a father for Oboro(and very much canon), definitely. As Yoshida Shoyo's blood being directly passed down to Oboro to have him be reborn, and let him live again testifies this.

This further solidifies the idea that Shoyo had accepted him as his own child. EVEN FURTHER confirms that they are blood related, like they actually are. That's a father and his first son your honor.😭

What guilt propels a human being to do in dire circumstances, an example is Oboro. (Power of Guilt)

The fact that such a kind man himself had become resolute to destroy the world, which was propelled partially because of Oboro. If Oboro hadn't ratted out Shoka Sonjuku, he could have continued to live as Shoyo, but his execution by gintoki, and schemed by Oboro, all of this emotional turmoil realised by Shoyo, triggered a trauma response and caused him to regress back to being a killer, ultimately trying to end the world, along with Oboro's juniors.

Oboro BLAMED himself for Shoyo becoming Utsuro once again and for the upcoming plight of the world, he couldn't bring himself to fight the man that saved him and rebirthed him to even live in the 1st place, his guilt is the ultimate and strongest reason as to why he swore loyalty to utsuro.

When he fought with his juniors he constantly brought up Shoyo and how he had died, what he taught, repeatedly, projecting his guilts onto them, and constantly repeated the fact that he was also a pupil of Shoyo towards the end, to both students and teacher, for example, "what would your teacher think? How do u keep up with y(our) sensei not around?" are things he has said to them.

Which can also be taken as introspective for him, but Oboro so desperately wants to connect and find someone (specifically somehow connect with his juniors deep down) that feels the same way as him, his loneliness and lack of a loving foundation that was snatched away from him is what caused him to so viciously fight his juniors/family.

Another fact is that after Shoyo left, the first thing Oboro did was disobey his teachings and kill people, he ultimately decided to become spiteful and violent to protect himself (in hindsight, it was done to protect his shoka sonjuku too) which is another thing he could have been very felt very guilty of, as he had not realised the truth behind many things that went down in the past and was too late to realise already x2.

In a way he was trying to make them realise what really went beyond what they knew of Yoshida Shoyo, and make them feel regretful of what had went down, but it is more of self-projecting from him in the end. Since he also blames himself for the demise of Shoka sonjuku and Yoshida Shoyo.

During the rakuyo arc, when Oboro realised his time is going to run out, he realises that his guilt is what caused him to blindly follow his father, even if he wanted to stop him he couldn't, which is why during his fight with Takasugi, he ultimately smiles and monolgues with Shoyo about how in the end he (Oboro), is very much caring towards his juniors and proud of them just like Shoyo is.

He finally makes peace with his guilt and pain that he had projected onto others, and attempts to try finding someone(shoka sonjuku juniors) to relate and bond with, as Shoyo turning to Utsuro had turned him into an emotionless void as well which was like rubbing salt to the wound.

Which is something he also blames himself for, people tend to go to many extents when they truly believe it is their fault and feel incredibly guilty, especially when it involves a loving family member, which is why, while he dies he tells Takasugi everything and that they should stop Utsuro, which majorly contradicts what he had done up till that point.

He went into the battle with Takasugi knowing he would die, as seen by the audience, when he was already coughing up blood before the fight. Before his fight with Takasugi, he also proclaims and reminds Utsuro that he is also a disciple of Yoshida Shoyo (Hes not implying utsuro is different he literally says I am YOUR pupil as well if I remember correctly).

Oboro's atonement and last advice to his juniors

This solidifies the idea that he wanted to die as Shoka Sonjuku's senior and a son/disciple of Shoyo, not as an underdog who aided in the destruction of the planet. Takasugi understanding Oboro's sentiments(like the good brother he is) and burying him in Shoka sonjuku also supports this idea.

Fundamentally he could've aided Utsuro because he also lost faith in the world, but reminiscing about Shoyo and Shoka Sonjuku is what led him to fight Takasugi till his blood dries up, to lose to his dear junior and atone for the mistake of uprooting their lives in an act of petty jealousy, which ultimately fast forwarded the return of Utsuro and the destruction of earth.

Bringing Oboro down to earth as the complicated human he is

Conclusively, Oboro was through and through the perfect example of a child/sibling, growing salty and jealous towards their parents when they treat their younger or older siblings better or favour them more(more susceptible to this at a young age like Oboro was), this is a more destructive path, MUCH more destructive and violent, of course, but it makes us realise how a petty feeling like jealous could even really lead to so much destruction and pain if we yield to it.

Even the the most kindest and softest beings like oboro (initially he was and a very grateful person) had led him to resolutely destroy the lives of his juniors and his teacher that he should have protected, especially in their culture where Their teacher is supposed to be held in the highest regard, Shoyo was not only a teacher but a father that protected and guided him during his most toughest times, atleast up until he had felt abandoned and neglected by his father (who was unaware).

That's it really but people always hate on him for being very salty & unreasonable, yappa yappa when I found his actions understandable, not justified of course but I understand where he is coming from, due to his very tough past & a painful life he led until the end (his blood slowly drying up over the years)

Conclusion

So yea he is just like Utsuro, just like how the oldest child resembles their father the most, it applies for Oboro as well, both led very tough lives that majority wouldn't be able to tolerate, which is why he sympathised with Shoyo even when he became Utsuro. So people should see Oboro like the complex and multifacted character he is, just like his father.

Both were led astray due to their pain that they understandably couldn't get over and which they still tried to alone for until their ends. Of course people are free to hate the character but hate o him for the accurate and right reasons not your own shallow perceptions of him being a braindead obsessive underdog smh media literacy is at zero percentage.

But I mostly said this because people just label him as someone that was obsessively and blindly following around his dad like a dog which is wrong imo, he's fully grown and is very capable of perceiving things most of the others couldn't, along with being able to go toe to toe with the rest of the gang.

Oboro's unspoken talents

Oboro is a clever man too, he was the most heavily ostracised and demonised person in the nark, even after Shoyo left, but was still able to become the Skilled and accomplished leader of the nark despite the odds and enemies against him even within his own group. He was still able to rise to a certain high authority.

I think that alone speaks volumes on his capabilities and his intelligence. Because at the end of the day as Yoshida Shoyo had predicted, he was the most advanced student in Shoka sonjuku due to his early starting.

But all I see is people seeing him as an underdog that doesn't think for himself which is what is the biggest mischaracterization of his is, his guilt is what made him decide to support shoyo, he continously made the choice out of GUILT Is the point I want to drive home, not that he just out of nowhere followed Utsuro because he has no brains or anything.

Which is what ive seen people assume automatically in this fandom, hating him for shitting on gintoki and the rest is valid, atleast that means he's held accountable for his own conscious actions.

But along with that fact they unnecessarily lump in the false characterization dat hes just dumb and follow orders like the obsessive servant he is, really irks me. As that is what the treatment he went through was, like see him as the cool senior that he is, not dumb & dumber.

So this ultimately confirms the fact that Oboro is a heavily misunderstood character/antagonist. And I hope people are able to appreciate his multidimensial characteristics more just like how we celebrate Takasugi and the like.

***

That's it thank you for reading and if you wanna read about Yoshida Shoyo's character analysis too I'll link it here. Have fun, take care and bye bye!

Yoshida Shoyo: Part 1, Part 2

Gintoki's Lake toya analysis

[onmymasa22]

Write down ur future goals

I have a lovely life. I wear nice clothes. I wear nice jewelry. I love noce stuff.

Tell me about a day in my future life based onq

What i never said, but i mean ti say is: i dont want u in my life. I was better off before u were in my life, and ill b better off after i clean my head from u. I need a major cleaning. Cuz i shouldve thrown u out before. Half a year ago. In my life, u are all worthless. Ur not on my level. Im nice, so i didnt kick u out, and i dont like change or goodbyes. But i need to just move on from u. I need to just be who i am, with out loser guys around me. Im so much better than that. I still want the nice guy. Not the slick guy, not the loser cant wake up in the morning, not the complainer. Just get the fuck away from me. Stop talking to me. Move the fuck on, let me go. U had ur shot. U missed it. Now stop talking to me.

Most people who go to college for education want to teach elemary or highschool kids. Lots of people around me like these ages. I think my issue is that i have no respect for them. The lack of respect causes my lack of patience. I dont respect teenagers. To me, theyre idiots. Theres no bigger idiot in the world than a teen, myself at 15 included. Everything is drama u cant figure out, its all the end of the wirld, ur the stupidest, most ugly, worst self esteemed individual, and everyone is like that. U have oily hair, teeth that dont make sense or hurt, ur either the annoying one who needs to be in every picture, or ur the one who thinks ur so cool and cant he in any picture. I hated people when i was that age, why would i want to be around that again. I like old people.

The amount of times my hearing was mistaken this holiday with a loud family that never let's something funny slide, we can all do like guitar riffs with it at each other

In my family we all know how to jam out to guitar riffs but with jokes. We are all loud and all of us have humor that can go from dark, to old jewish. But because its like a guitar riff jam, everyone literally collaberates to a "stand up set" improve style until everyone laughs so hard they're tearing up. That's a normal weekend in my family.

A yom tov where my family is together means putting a bunch of people with loud personalities who all have a sense of humor to the extreme where everything can be funny. Like ive been with some families where u need to be obnoxious, or a health freak, or deal with the weird uncle who drunk and talking nonsense but theyre assuring u that he is actually very smart (which is like when people say their weed is "the good stuff", it never is. When they tell u he is "very smart", he isn't). In my family, u need a sense of humor that can match everyone. We ll have different ways that we're funny-im the most made fun of between everyone and im almost non offendable, and i make it funnier.

what i learned about ppl who sell weed- if they tell u its high quality, it never is.

Like how in some families, u need to be vegetarian or obnoxious to make it, at my house u need a sense of humor and to be

I cry way more then i used to. Usually when im emotional. I was never a cry at movies or books or songs kind of person. I knew my grandmother as that person. Everything made her cry. And after i accomplished lots of healing, breaking cycles, letting go of unhealthy relationships, therapy, throwing myself into learning new skills even when it was more boring than a crazy night. I really thought id never feel happy again. I was so numb yet emotionally raw at the same time. I thought boring normal relationships or doing things where i wasnt almost dying, never knew how the night would go so took a toothbrush life. That was what my life became. And in my own time, through my own decisions, i gave therapy a shot. And i still didnt think id ever be happy with normal. I threw myself into learning guitar. It was always something i was interested in, from elementary school, someone brought one and played and i was in awe of it. Kind of like i was in awe of someone speaking hebrew which i also learned.

Im just proud that i chose life. After a long time of choosing death. This year, i chose life. This next year, i want to choose life too.

This year i want to choose life.

I want to be fully committed to myself, being guided by halacha.

I will choose life.

I will get a job that feeds my passions.

I will have enough money to live and extra to give and live nicely.

I will battle each day that the demons show up. I will fight to live a healthy boring life.

In my life right now, healthy doesnt mean eating salads everyday. It doesn't mean going to the gym. It doesn't mean counting calories, or being a runner, or owning a stanley cup thing. Healthy means

I had to learn this:

Treat people according to who u r, not according to who they r.

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their  children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

no

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

[maschotch]

If hotch's mom is still alive, what do you think she's like & their relationship is like?

WHAT an interesting question. i think i’ve always just assumed his mom was dead bc there is literally no mention of her at all. not from hotch or from sean. his dad was already complicated enough…

this answer got longer than intended kasjhdlg so it’s going under a read more

ok lemme get into the general characterization i’ve had in my head this whole time just so i can figure out how to work this out. obviously his father was abusive, and it’s likely something his mother has had to deal with for much longer. just for the sake of keeping her firmly under his thumb (fist), i’ve imagined her marrying when she’s pretty young? like 18/19… i dont wanna get too caught up in the ages bc that’s a whole other fucking rabbit hole, but whats important is the mentality: someone who’s been stuck in an abusive relationship for years, someone who feels like they have nowhere else to go. based on the interactions hotch has had w abusive fathers and their wives.. i’ve sorta just come to the conclusion that she wasn’t the type to stand up for herself. and after years of prolonged physical and undoubtedly psychological abuse, i doubt she would qualify as mentally stable. conjuring fantastical classically gothic images of what the hotchner household looked like, i imagine by the time hotch became a teenager, his mom was kind of like an empty shell. drifting around the house with a ghastly presence; yellow wallpaper, wide sargasso sea kinda vibes

the intention with all this was to have her set the house on fire, killing herself inside it, in all its melodramatic glory. but hey if they didnt want me to be As Extra As Possible with it then they shouldve just give hotch a backstory and i wouldnt have to. but the ultimate goal here was to leave hotch without a stable figure in his life by the time his dad passes (however we choose to believe THAT happened..) it seemed like the easiest way to set up the scene for hotch’s behavioral problems as a teenager and sean’s attachment issues. no matter how wattpad-y we get with it, i just assumed his mother was dead

so if she wasn’t… whew. that rocks the boat a bit. because it makes her more than a survivor: it makes her a witness. hotch has no one in his life currently who was there for the brunt of his father’s abuse. sean was likely too little, and haley hadn’t quite entered the scene yet (and even if she was, i doubt it’s something he would be upfront about). he has no one to tie him back to that period of his life, and honestly i think that even if it hadn’t worked out that way, hotch would try very hard to distance himself from that time entirely. preferring to sweep it under the rug and pretend he had that happy normal household he’d always been taught to say. if his mother was alive, i doubt that would change. for someone who holds the idea of family in such high esteem, he was quick to estrange his brother even before sean committed to the #badboylyfestyle. i imagine it would be just as easy for him to cut off his mother.

to what extent… that depends on how they grew up. we can keep with the original idea of a weaker woman in the shadow of an abusive husband. if we continued along that journey.. well… @t4thotchniss thought it would be fun if, once hotchner sr died, she thought that hotch was his father. even though she’s free from the abuse, the mental wounds were past hope of recovery. she may still be breathing, but the warm mother of his childhood is still long dead, replaced by a demented husk. either institutionalized or sent with sean to the grandparents to be cared for and looked after. hotch may visit occasionally, but he grows weary of facing his mother’s cowering eyes as she waits for the blow to come. the constant reminder that he looks like his father, that he is his father’s son, is unpleasant for both of them and hotch may just stop coming all together. something sean, not knowing the nature of the situation, doesn’t understand. he just views it as another rejection from his older brother.

if we eased up on the severity a little bit and just had her be a shell-shocked survivor now charged with raising two kids, it’d be different for sure. i’m not sure what state their finances are in, but for the sake of simplicity lets just say she can get by with the inheritance and meager earnings from some small job in town. i think at that point, her biggest issue would be herself. her husbands dead and gone now. and without that malicious air saturating the household, she starts questioning her own hand in that environment. why didn’t she do something about it? why did she spend so long living like that? why didn’t she protect her son? this would hit especially hard if we decided to be sexy and have hotch kill his father. her fear has been replaced by an overwhelming sense of guilt. to the point where she can’t even look at her son anymore. she focuses all her energy on sean and tries to create a home so different from the kind hotch was raised in: one where he could feel safe and loved. something sorely lacking throughout hotch’s childhood. hotch may be upset at first (hence the behavioral issues) and this is where she sends him off to boarding school. she won’t admit it, but it’s two birds with one stone. she wouldn’t have to deal with an unstable teenager and she doesn’t have to live with the constant reminder of her failure as a mother. over time i think hotch would understand why being around him was so difficult for his mother. especially years later—when she realizes she’d made the wrong decision by ostracizing her son, being ashamed to see him all over again. hotch respects that and keeps his distance. truthfully it’s easier for him too: if there’s no one in his life from that time, he can go on pretending everything was fine.

now we could get real crazy with it and have his mom be abusive too. there are varying levels here, but i’ll take inspiration from the conversation with perotta. “why didn’t you hate her?” things would be drastically different if he was the only one who suffered at the hands of his father. the man didn’t touch his wife, choosing to take his anger out solely on his son. in that case, it would make more sense if it was something that got worse with age. he wasn’t necessarily violent before, until his wife gave birth to the perfect outlet for his aggression. as the drinking worsened and the decrepitness of middle age began to settle in, his temper only got worse—as did the beatings. without compassion, without solidarity, without any sort of companionship… that would be a very different environment for a child indeed. there’s no expectation for reprieve. no hope that it would stop. his mother, aloof and unmoved by his cries, offers no chance of momentary escape. forsaken by his mother and battered by his father, hotch grows up entirely alone with a growing resentment for the world that has dealt him only cruelty. i think that would only be heightened if, when little sean was born, both parents doted on the blond haired blue eyed baby, their perfect child. once his father dies, his mother sends him off to boarding school, not wanting to deal with her sorry excuse for a son. while hotch sorts himself out through high school to college, sean is left with high expectations and a very rigid kind of love. conditional. which is when he starts acting out. as an adult, hotch wouldn’t visit his mother much. when he does, he would be cordial and polite, his jaw aching from clenching his teeth the whole time. nevertheless he acts a perfect gentlemen, knowing full well that it will never be enough for her.

among those options i kinda like the last one honestly aksjhdlakjd i think it fits best with the resulting characters at the point we see them in the show. sean shifting erratically from trying to please their mom to acting out and rebelling… hotch becoming a lawyer in the hopes of gaining his mother’s favor, shifting to pursue his own ambitions when that last strand of hope snaps… brothers envying and resenting the other, and neither sure what to do about it… hotch ultimately being the bigger man and reaching out to rekindle their relationship… sean, irritated and indignant of his older brother seemingly flaunting his maturity in the face of sean’s failures, recoiling and shutting him out completely… the regret seeping any aspirations out of him and keeping the door stubbornly closed, refusing to turn back and insisting on continuing on the path he’s chosen, no matter where it leads… idk its just fun that way

but no matter how hotch’s childhood went, i think the end result would be the same. i don’t think he’d see his mother often, if at all. if he did, it wouldn’t be a happy occasion.

[antiresperidoneclub]

i havent posted anything in awhile but happy pride month yall! and, very much in me fashion imma take this time ta make another informational post! this installment is called

why assimilation is overall harmful to the queer community + the damage of pseudo-right wing ideas spread thruout the trans community!

CW: queerphobia, transmedicalism, bl*ir wh*te, k*lvin g*rrah, violence against queer ppl.

so, where do we start?

assimilation, what is it?

assimilation is a deliberate effort made by a minority/ marginalized group to (instead of become free) join the majority/privledged, which is wildly more accesible ta abled nuerotypical cis white lgb folks.

now, how does that apply ta th queer community? before that, we hafta look at th stark distinction between th LGBT community and th QUEER community.

because sadly its now different

imma make this as short as possible but basically,

despite its intentions when it was formed decades ago, th LGBT communiy an th way it functions is percieved is different. case in point, th term LGBT has been heavily gentrified and commodified especially by corporations tryina sell it to non-lgbt audiences. youll notice a majority of LGBT voices an advocates are usually white cis lgb ppls or are assimilationists. th term LGBT aswell has been heavily diluted and decontexualized from its roots, such as fightin for rights wit riots an demonstrations, bein heavily tied wit black an indigenous liberation, socialist ideals and memorializing th struggle for our freedom. its also (as apart of its gentrification) is bein forced ta be more 'family friendly' in an effort of control an ta make cash off of us an further assimilate us.

the QUEER community is a somewhat niche nowadays as it sticks fairly close ta th original goals as th LGBT community once had. such as wantin an willin ta fight for liberation rather than succumb ta assimilation. its also seen as a threat as it directly challenges th authority (capitlism, cops/military, goverment, white supremacy, fascism) for its mistreatment an oppresion against queer ppl and other marginalized groups. if th LGBT community is th privledged assimilations that can be proffited off of, then th queer community is more alike 'outcasts' or 'rejects' that arent as palatable ta a cishet majority ie; trans women/ trans/queer ppls of colour, more radicalized queer folks, or those impoverished.

so, with that said, how has/does assimilation harm queer ppl?

as i said, assimilation is disspraportionatly accesible ta able-bodied, neurotypical, cis, non-poor white LGB ppls (shocker) meaning th majority of queer poc, trans people, impoverished, and diasbaled/neurodivergent folks get left behind and continuosly stomped on in an attempt ta eradicate us. and it should be noted theres 2 types of assimilation

1. forced assimilation; forced assimilation is where marginalized ppls thru cultural eradication/genocide r forced ta strip themselves of their identity an join th majority which results in oppresion, discrimination, an further erasure of th ppls themselves. this is heavily seen within th queer community wit th AIDS crisis where those who survived were later branded as 'brave' by th very system that sought their demise in th first place, leavin our community in shambles.

2. chosen assimilation; chosen assimilation is where usually a small group/ or a singular person will disregard their people in an a attempt ta be spared from oppresion or discrimination. in terms of queer ppl (especially trans folks) th main contendors r blair white, kalvin garrah, an buck angel. blair is a stellar example of attempted assimilation. she not only rejetcs, but constantly puts her own people on blast publicly ta her audince of white cishet conservatives an (more often than not) fascists. not only that but she deliberatly associates wit th very ppl who seek her erasure an oppresion in an assbackwards attempt at salvation. more concrete examples include 1. showin herself as 'one of th good ones' or 'normal' 2. acting as if shes cishet 3. constantly self-hating ta appease those mentioned above 4. spewing dangerous an misinormed rhetoric aimed at trans ppls which directly affects trans poc an non-passing trans women. next, kalvin garrah. i was gonna write a whole thing on him but instead ill (below) link copshatemoe's videos about him.

so, now that we know how assimilation both forced an personal harms queer ppls in general, what about trans ppls an th trans community?

transmedicalism and its disasterous effects towards the trans community.

transmedicalism is a belif system of sorts that follows ideals such as

beliving trans ppls must be suffering from dysphoria to be trans

a trans person must want to transition to be trans

being trans is a mental illness/ neurological condition/ birth defect cause by unbalanced horomone levels or th existence of "male and female brains"

belivies HRT or surgerys are a 'cure' for dysphoria/ 'transness'

that neopronouns or non-lesbian, gay, bisexual, or binary trans folks are invalid or 'wannabes' who see th "lgbt community as a club of sorts to join jus because"

borderline or blatant rascist, transmysoginistic, ableist rhetoric.

intentional or not, that assimilation is key an becomin 'as close ta bein cis as possible' is th goal of transition.

now, i could spend ages rantin about how these belifs are blatently wrong but however rather than disecting them lets jus go over th direct harm these belifs have caused th trans community.

lets start wit nonbinary folks. nowadays as ive seen transmedicalism has become more open ta acceptin nonbinary folks but regardless they were one of th first punchin bags. since bein nonbinary in any facet isnt exactly 'medically sustained' its already seen as bullshit, but past that it opens th gates for neoprounouns an non-convetional identitys. enby ppls would be attacked constantly or called "trenders" in an attempt ta discourage them from even existing. this 'highschool bully' type of mentality along wit th superiority complex behind transmedicalism created a stark divide between "normal" trans ppls an th "weirdo, faker" trans ppls. not only did these attacks further stigmatize an already oppresed minority but also forced ppl ta hide themselves from they own community ta avoid ridicule an bullying. this type of harrasment has left these ppls wit trauma an fear of they identity bein challenged not only online but also in IRL queer spaces while they already hafta stay hypervigilant around cis ppl, now it seems th same around binary trans folks. not only have nonbinary ppls have been impacted however, binary trans ppls were left wit insecurities, wonderin if they dysphoria is 'rlly that bad compared ta others' and worrying about things they usually didnt care about. probably th biggest of those is 'passing'. passing is th action of looking as cis as possible ta blend in an avoid general treatments sustained by cishet ppls. i as a transwomen was directly affected by this rhetoric which caused me years of my transition spent not becomin myself, but becomin as close ta a cis girl as possible. this lead me ta become embarresed by my own community also factored in by havin virtually no trans friends IRL. this was th shared experince of many binary trans folks an nonbinary trans folks i know an am friends with. in conclusion, transmedicalsim has not only ostrasized an traumatized queer folks, but has also left insecurities an damage ta binaty trans folks aswell.

so, with that in mind, how do we combat, well, all of this an much more?

liberation

liberation is th action of freeing a marginalized group from its oppresive chains. an how would this look/work for th queer community?

majority of cishet ppls think that queer liberation ended wit marriage equality but thats very much not true. multiple basic human freedoms have been stripped from not only cis lgb queers but also trans people aswell. rights such as affordable housing witout discrimination, medical options for trans people being completly accesible or downright free, safe spaces or areas where were able ta exist free of fear of persecution or discrimination, better healthcare treatment towards queer ppl, things sometimes neccisary ta ones transition bein more accesible such as name/document changes, and many more things. but remember, none of this is possible witout ingigenous liberation/land back, black liberation, or under capitlism

anyways, i have 0 way ta end this so happy pride month an a very happy juneteenth!! if ur black ur more than welcome ta leave any gofundmes, cashapps, venmos etc in th notes or reblogs!

also, if you have any additions or points/topics i shouldve made or covered pls reblog wit them!

-alexis

[ivyuns]

violation 2

hwang hyunjin

genre: angst

word count: 0.9k

warnings: mentions of death and pregnancy, psychopath! fiancé, revenge, hyunjin gets hurt, this story is read in 3rd person, not proof read, police officers are in the story, arrested, kinda rushed, if anything else, lmk!

summary: after hyunjin kills you, your fiancé tries ways to get revenge on hyunjin

note: hi! im sorry this came out a month late than it shouldve had but its here! for those who are wondering, landing in your heart will continue after may since ill be on summer break.

masterlist 

part one

after your sudden death, your family was having problems. since your cafe was popular in that area, many reporters came to the house, asking what happened.

all your fiancé could say is that you were murdered by your best friend. which he was right.

after your funeral, your fiancé went to your cafe and went to see the security footage from the night you didn’t come home. first he saw that you were inside the cafe, alone with hyunjin. he heard you tell hyunjin that he could go home for his “exams”. he checked the other cameras and saw hyunjin picking up his hoodie. the same hoodie he wore when he kidnapped you.

after you cleaned up and everything and left the cafe, he got to see your beautiful smile that he’ll never see again. he smiled but was quickly faded away whenever he saw hyunjin behind you as you were walking the other way.

“fuck you, hwang hyunjin.”

the following days after your funeral, your fiancé had told your mom about him suspecting hyunjin for your death. “the hwang hyunjin? no it can’t be him!” your mom exclaimed and laughed but your fiancé left of poker face on him.

“m-mom please take this seriously. there’s camera footage that hyunjin was following y/n.” he said, almost begging for her to believe him. and after showing the camera footage, she grew pale. ‘i should’ve known from the start’ your mom thought to herself.

your fiancé and mom partnered up and researched about hyunjin and his job. “skz?” he questioned. your mom looked away from her computer to look at her son in laws and read “kwonga has stole billions of cash from skz.”

kwonga.

it was your dad’s nickname.

“oh my god. i-i mr kwon stole money from hyunjin- i-is that why hyunjin killed my daughter-“ your mom said, almost not believing what she just put together. almost passing out of the fact that her husband was secretly in a mafia, your fiancé took her to her bedroom for her to rest as he went back to work.

‘skz mafia whereabouts’

he clicked on the link and read hyunjin’s profile. ‘left recently due to high amounts of stress and anxiety.’

after hyunjin left skz, he moved back into his parents. of course, his parents didn’t know he was in a mafia so he used the best excuse he could think of which was “i quit my job as a grocery worker”

hyunjin unpacked his bags and kkami came into his room. “hi kkami!” hyunjin exclaimed and went on the floor to pick up kkami. but kkami ignored him and jumped on his bed and laying down. hyunjin frowned and went back to unpacking.

hours later, he decided to take a walk around since it’s been awhile. he walked around and he realized your cafe was around the corner of his house. he saw all the flowers and pictures of and for you at the front, with some people standing in front of it, grieving for you and your unborn baby.

hyunjin walks up to the front door and walks inside the cafe. the cafe was now spacious and was filled with your favorite things. stuffed animals, fairy lights, favorite colors, etc.

he smiled as he remember the thought of you two being kids. how you always dreamed of having a successful cafe in the future. hyunjin regrets accepting his mission. if he was just his old and normal self, you would still be here. enjoying the happy smiles of your customers and employees.

“hwang?” someone calls out.

hyunjin turns around to see your fiancé behind the counter. eyes puffy and red from seeing all your things here. “h-hey f/n. i uhm i just came here to see what happened. and i’m sorry you lost two amazing girls in your life.” hyunjin quickly said and exited the small building.

your fiancé catches up to him and whispers into his ear. “you’ll be next.” but as hyunjin turned around, he saw nobody. hyunjin quickly ran back home and thought about his choices.

a few days has passed and hyunjin was locked inside his room. he didn’t fully know about the term “you’ll be next” but he knows that one of these days will be his last.

“hyunjin-ah. please come out and buy me groceries.” hyunjins mom knocked on his door and left money on the floor next to his door. hyunjin sighs and gets up. getting ready and grabbing the money off the floor and leaving.

before he could enter the grocery store, he was greeted with police officers. “please stop and show us your id. we heard there was a murder but the murder hasn’t been turned in yet.” the police told hyunjin.

hyunjin nods his head, sweating. he takes out his id and all the information matched the murderer description. “mr hwang hyunjin, you’re under arrest for kidnapping and murdering kwon y/n and her unborn daughter.”

“no! t-that’s not me!” hyunjin yelled at the officers. but it was no use. he’s been caught.

handcuffs were locked on his wrists behind him and got into the car. the police officers called his parents about his arrest and was terrified of their own son.

your fiancé who was hiding saw the whole scene. proud of him and your mom. it started pouring and he was still outside. he looked up and smiled. “you’re welcome, y/n.”

he didn’t want to kill hyunjin, because he knew you’ll be upset with him by killing your once best friend. instead he wanted to turn in hyunjin but secretly. tears left his eyes and the stress has left his shoulders.

“thank you my love.”

“thank you dadda”

his smile grew wider, hearing the sweet voice of yours and hearing his daughter who he wish he met. “i love and miss you two.”

END <3

deeply apologizing for the ending :(

[burnedbyshoto]

pet

— “Go on, pet,” you nip at his throat, skin that was much softer than you would think with the scales that plagued his body. “Make your owner happy.” —

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pairing: spinner (shuchi iguchi) x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, fluff, cursing, bondage, desperation, dom!fem, praise, begging, orgasm denial, toys, over-stimulation, multiple-orgasm, xenophilia, marking/biting, cunnilingus, pegging, human-pet-play, collar and leash, and breeding

word count: 7,750

a/n: THIS IS SO LATE BUT LMAO COMMISSION FOR THE INCREDIBLE AND SWEET AND SUPER PATIENT @beauty-in-ferality​ THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT BECAUSE THIS SHOULDVE COME OUT LIKE A MONTH AGO ;-; I hope you like it!!! the breeding snuck in im sorry

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The life of a villain was one of… inconsistency. 

To say the least, being a villain meant knowing that with every passing day, you were at risk. Unlike heroes who had a safety net in life, villains had nothing to catch them if they fell. Society was better with the help of influential individuals, but how you saw it, how you knew things to be, it was only better because the marginalized groups were easier to pick out. 

It was always easier to push down those who scared you, those who were abnormal. With the emergence of quirks, the transformations once average humans made to become who they are now that marginalization increased. 

Sure, All Might may have brought the crime rate to 6%, but with it, he took down millions of helpless people who also needed heroes but went ignored.

You were among one of those groups, a once happy family pushed to the brinks due to collateral damage brought by All Might. Saving people with a smile, but ignoring those he didn’t see. Your family had a long line of quirks dealing with death, and for so long, no one cared. After a massive villain attack occurred in your hometown, people feared your family, blaming you all on bringing death to over three hundred people. The heroes did nothing, All Might had solved the case in less than an hour but never returned.

You were bullied, ridiculed, put down.

It was no surprise to you or anyone of your neighbors when you finally disappeared and joined an albeit messy group called the League of Villains. 

In this rat-tat group, you found a family.

Heeding the will of the Hero Killer: Stain, you for the first time since you were six found yourself among equals. 

Just by the looks of them all, they were outsiders too, marginalized, hated.

The leader Shigaraki, well the dude had corpses all over his body and was quite the bratty man-child. Dabi looked like the love child of Frankenstein’s monster and some living girl. Toga had a cruel obsession with blood, knives, and death. Twice seemed mentally deranged, going from polar opposites in such a comical way that you were suppressing your snickers with every shouted sentence. Big Sis Magne and Compress, you couldn’t quite figure out why they had joined, but they evened out the team.

But the most marginalized, the one that had you stopping and staring while he walked into the meeting room, was Spinner. 

Shuchi Iguchi.

A lizard man.

His pink eyes locked on you, and your lips pulled into a smirk. You did not miss the way his green scaly cheeks seemed to turn impossibly pink, embarrassment coursing through his veins.

This was good, you thought, letting Twice throw an arm around you while he screamed at Dabi about who knows what. Of course, the lizard wasn’t used to having anyone stare at him, especially without a look of disgust or hatred. 

This was the first day you met your family, this misfit crew that left you wanting to tear your hair from your scalp at times, but without a doubt, you’d do anything for them.

As for Shuchi, well, to say the least, the two of you forged quite the relationship. You knew that he was someone you wanted, someone you craved, the ability to get with someone who wasn’t normal was too grand a chance for you to even pass by. One that ended with being caught with tongues down each other’s throats behind the building of an old hideout. Outed by none other than Twice — of course, it would be him.

But that was almost a year ago.

Today, in the present time, the two of you had been on the road for what seemed like ages. It was without saying that Shigaraki did not trust the MLA, and to be honest, even though your rag-tag group managed to beat them in the end, you agreed with his distrust. It was, however, a constant battle of wanting those he trusted near him and sending the ones he trusted most to do the scouting he needed. 

So begrudgingly, Shigaraki deployed you and Spinner off to do his bidding outside of the confinements of the hideout. After a year of truly being against the law, it was weird being out in the open, attempting to blend in with the oblivious people of the world. But if there was one good thing about being a scout for your family, it was definitely the ‘pretending-to-be-normal’ part.

Six months of dating Spinner left you two with only one actual date.

To even call it a date would be a joke as well, the two of you had simply sat out eating lunch post-training one day. Both of your bodies screaming with exhaustion, muscles beat into you, and the chill of the winter sun looming gently on your skin while the two of you ate together. 

So here, under the pretense of false disguises and the entire MLA wealth under your fingertips, you and Spinner felt like an actual couple.

However, it was those damn dates that kept putting the both of you down. 

Every time the two of you tried to go out on a date, disaster struck.

The first date was plagued with the restaurant being destroyed when a villain threw a local hero straight through the wall. 

The second date was ruined because a member of the MLA discovered the two of you, so you had to watch your food grow cold while you passed information.

The twentieth attempt at the date was ruined by a video chat from Shigaraki. Oh, how infuriating it was to see the phone too close to his face. Only for his scarred lips to scowl while you tried to explain why you both looked better than average. 

But this was now your forty-third attempt, and you’d be damned if you didn’t actually get your loving boyfriend to do some cliche date things.

So it had started off with a simple date, the two of you decided to order in. 

It took twenty minutes for someone to come knocking on your two’s motel door with a box of pizza, hot wings, and a box you didn’t know what it was. You paid off the man, not bothering to continue the light chatter he tried to attempt. You, after all, had more pressing matters at hand rather than attending to small talk. 

Turning with the boxes in your hand, you smiled, seeing how Spinner had laid out a nicer blanket on top of the bed, trying to emulate a picnic that had failed for you two on multiple occasions. Being a villain to the world beauty was something hardly seen, tranquility and serenity was something saved for the heroes, but this? This was perfect.

Your head had been resting up against Spinner’s shoulder for some time now. A comfortable silence between the two of you. Your eyes trailed over to the green scales of his arm, the same arm that had once been skinny and lean had become muscular and broad. At the initial meeting, he could never beat you in an arm-wrestling competition. Something the league used as an ice breaker weirdly enough, but now? He could carry you above his head without breaking a single sweat. 

That knowledge sent a pleasurable shiver down your spine, and Spinner was on full alert.

“Y/n?” he says slowly, sensing the gentle waves of lust that slowly rolled from you. 

He could always sense it.

“We haven’t been able to do anything lately,” you pout, but there wasn’t even the slightest bit of sorrow in your voice. 

Your eyes trailed up to his face, the scaly green face was flushed pink, and a lazy smirk filled your face. You thought it was amazing that despite the color and thickness of his skin, you could still see the colors of embarrassment riding through his cells. You rolled onto your knees, straddling him where he sat, and delighted in the way his pink eyes widened.

Spinner was not naive, but hell, was he so innocent.

“I want you to go into the bathroom and put on your collar,” you murmur against his cracked lips, his skin cold under your touch while you graze his shoulders. “I want you, Spinner…”

His breathing was harsh, and his eyes were slitted when he stared into your lustful eyes. He was falling under the control of your pheromones, and you took that to your advantage. You ground against his growing bulge fingers digging into his skin. He moaned in his throat, his eyes fluttering, his head mindlessly nodding.

“Go on, pet,” you nip at his throat, skin that was much softer than you would think with the scales that plagued his body. “Make your owner happy.”

There was no hesitation when you rolled off him and him standing up and walking into the shitty bathroom. Smirking at the sound of the bathroom door clicking closed, you stood up from the bed. You stripped your clothes, moving your hair from your face. Staring into the mirror, you could see the lacy black teddy you wore.

You were glad you had managed to pack a pair of heels with you, and while he remained in the restroom, you slipped them on. With grace and ease, you walked to the dresser provided by the motel and opened the first drawer. While you shuffled around in the drawer, the bathroom door unlocked.

It made no effect on your slow movements; in fact, you definitely moved slower while you pulled something long and leather out of the pile of clothes. 

Tall, scaly, naked, and so very green. Your eyes drank in your boyfriend's nude state, naked as the day he was born with nothing but a pink leather collar sitting around his neck. 

“Come here,” you hithered him with your finger, your legs parting, hip jutting out. 

Spinner gulped audibly, and with a proud smile on your face, you watched him sink to the ground, his fingers pressing against the dirty floor, his ass in the air while he crawled to you. You continued to watch his every movement, amused with the way that he shamefully crawled to you despite the boner pressing against his stomach. 

“Good job, Spinner,” you praise, your hand stretching out, cold metal burning against your warm skin. His eyes drop down to see you attaching the long leash to the collar before straightening out again. “Follow.”

You don’t give him time to heed your words, already tugging at the leash to the point where you heard a muffled choke. Grinning, you watched him scamper to keep up, his voice trying not to speak any louder than a whisper. Seconds before he could reach the bed to crawl up on it, you quickly turned around, ball of your foot slamming on the leash, choking him once again, sending his snout to the floor. 

“Oh, sorry,” you smile at the way a ragged pant expels from his lips. So sweet, so rewarding. “I thought you were trying to move without your owner's permission!”

Spinner was trying to move without permission, but he couldn’t respond; after all, he was your pet. With a proud grin at how well he was behaving, you pressed the flat of your heel on his snout and shoved him up, your eyes looking at him with amusement. “On the bed, before I change my mind, pet.”

You’d never seen him scramble that fast to get on the bed. 

His pink eyes stare at you, wide-eyed, and slits incredibly thin. He was on edge, he was ready for his first orgasm. You weren’t a cruel dom, that was the truth, but you weren’t prepared to give in yet. Not after hearing him choke twice, no, he needed to hold out some more.

You moved on top of him, your thighs straddling his smooth chest, the leash in your hand binding to the metal bar of the bed frame. It wasn’t too tight where he had to adjust his position on the bed, but just close enough where his Adam apple bobbed under the collar in worry that he would make noises.

Pet lizards didn’t make noises after all. 

Once the leash was secured on the bed, your head turned around to look at his hard cock. It was large, monstrously large. Sheathed around green skin, this was one of your favorite parts of having a mutant as a boyfriend. Once he was really ready, the green skin would retract and show up to pink cocks that you would drool over any day. The thought of the two pulsating cocks immediately set a flare of fire to your core, the soft thumping of your body pleasantly reacting to your thoughts was enough ammo for you to continue.

You wanted to see the writhing cocks now.

“I want your eyes on me at all times,” you state, sliding back on his torso, making sure to circle your hips teasingly against his softly throbbing cock. “You look away, and I’ll leave for the rest of the night.”

You arrived at his cock, the salty scent of his slick pre-cum already invading your senses. Your mouth watered at the thought of his massive loads exploding down your throat. You had never been a fan of swallowing the near acid that was cum, but it was different with Spinner.

You wanted to milk his cum from his overstimulated cock for the rest of eternity.

Inhaling sharply, that was it, you needed to move.

Your lips wrapped around the head of his dark green cock. The angry green head seemed to sizzle against your cold saliva, and the taste of his salty pre-cum dripping down his length invaded your senses. Fingers continued to stroke and massaged his throbbing cock, and your tongue pressed flat against the slit in his head. His strained gasp of shock sent shivers down your body, your ass wiggled in the air, he was so fucking turned on. Your boyfriend was so, so innocent.

Hollowing out your cheeks, you let your teeth scrape against the underside of his cock, and you pressed down against his buckling legs. That must have hurt him a bit, but you went to trace over your movements with your tongue, nulling the pain.

His eyes were in and out of focus while you sucked him off, an internal battle to keep them on you while your mouth manipulated him. Your jaw relaxed more, the overall girth of his cock becoming too much when you went down further, but you needed to persevere. You wanted him to crack.

Further, you went down against his length, the more your tongue wrapped around his thick cock. Teeth dragging against the bulging veins on his member. You wanted to hear him scream your name, you wanted him to break character, to beg you to do what he loved most. Scream your name until his throat was hoarse and fucked him until his cock was a limp slab of flesh. 

He did this to you. 

You wanted to do this to him.

Your eyes dared his fluttering ones to close, he was finding it hard to keep them open, and that was all you needed. Shifting your hand to the base of his cock, you willed yourself lower against his slightly thrusting hips. The feeling of his cock pressing further down your throat thrilling you with this sense of competition.

You couldn’t let your pet win.

But shit, he was thick. His cock was mercilessly stretching out your throat, the throbbing and heated skin imprinting itself against your throat. 

More, you willed yourself when your hand sharply twisted the base of his cock before continuing to pull the skin up and down. A restrained screech of pleasure resonated from Spinner's mouth, not enough for you to call him out on it, but enough to make you bob your head faster; his hips subconsciously thrust further into your mouth. 

Tears pricked at your eyes, and Spinner’s body quivered under his restraint to not slam his hips into your mouth. The knowing of a reward is too perfect for him to risk losing control right now. Your free hand shifted to his balls, grabbing onto the heated flesh and kneading it until hisses escaped his disorientated mouth. 

With one low groan from your throat, it was over for Spinner.

His body stiffened underneath you, and fiery sticky hot cum squirted into your mouth, shooting straight down your relaxed throat while he spasmed. Moaning, you rose from his cock, strings of saliva and cum attaching his cock to your lips. 

He had managed to beat you at this, you thought with the smallest bit of pride. He was improving. 

Making an effort to show that you had swallowed his cum. His chest rose and fell with his ragged breathing, a testament to his suppressed orgasms this entire time. 

“Amazing,” you sigh, your eyelids heavy when you stare at him. “I do wonder how much you’ll like this next one. But for your owner to play fair, you’ll be able to speak.”

You don’t waste any time, pushing your boyfriend over onto his stomach, a small grunt of understanding escaping him when he landed on his face. How typical, his first orgasm was always a critical point for him. If you weren’t fast enough, he’d fall asleep.

Sliding off the bed, you grabbed the harness and strap on that had been in the dresser by the bedside. 

Your eyes remained on his own, a smirk on your face as you slip your legs through the restraints. Fastening them tight around your thighs, you made a show to make him see just how good you look as you jut out your hip in a sultry fashion when it’s done. It’s tight against your legs, but you enjoyed that feeling. Spinner groans, his body sprawled out onto the bed as you saunter towards the bed. 

Why did he look sensuous with his ass in the air and red staining his cheeks?

“Hands and knees,” you command, stepping back on the bed.

Spinner babbled for air, his chest ragging, tiredness evident in his every movement, but nonetheless, he shifted over to the position you ordered. Ass in the air, spluttering noises still heavy on his mouth. 

“You look ready to pass out, yet you’re so ready for my cock,” you laugh, your index finger peaking through his pert hole. “I haven’t even fucking started fucking your asshole with my strap, and you look ready to cum again.” You ease your finger in as Spinner lets out a string of whines, his body trembling as he falls onto his forearms. Your tongue pokes out, savoring the way that his asshole contracts around your finger. 

How he was going to survive this thicker dildo was beyond you.

“Does this feel good?” you grin, your finger inching in him, touching the soft walls of his rectum.

“Y-Yes, it does, oh my god,” Spinner stifles a wail while he thrusts his hips out towards you, trying to fuck himself against you.

Your finger makes it all the way in, and Spinner stammers out your name as you begin to pull it back out. 

Your finger thrusts into him, and his hips tremble with resulting lust and need. Your hips are shifting in your own excitement, pressing the bottom of the dildo against his back. The discomfort from your own need is ignorable because god.. the way he trembles like a leaf sends your eyes rolling backward. His chest falls to the mattress as you continue thrusting into him. Spinner’s moans were stirring you on as you add another finger stretching him out.

“This feels — fuck, so good!” Spinner moans, fingers digging into the bedsheets while you work your fingers in a circle. You don’t bother to respond back, choosing to instead grip his balls again, watching his hips snap backward in retaliation.

He makes audible gawking noise, his spluttering fueling your massaging fingers. You chuckle as your free hands trail up and down his muscular thigh. Pinching and pulling at his scales until his ass clenches against your fingers. Your name was a broken prayer on his tongue. Your hand moves to his inner thigh, nails teasing the skin, and then grab onto his hard hot and leaking cock. 

Spinner let out a silent scream into the mattress when you began to fist his length, the simultaneous activation of his cock and his anus making him drool. You watched his scarlet and green snout shoved into the pillow, his eyes not focused at all in his pleasure with a puddle of drool, holy fuck did that make your clit throb. “You’re taking my fingers so good, pet,” you groan against his rippling back muscles, your teeth biting into the sensitive skin. “I hope this feels as good as you’re making it look.”

Spinner spasms as your nails ripple against the puffy walls of his asshole. He’s nearly crying, and his desperate gasps turn you on further. Your hand that is moving down his length, fisting him as you go. A sadistic smile on your face as his cries continue. His body trembled. Your fingers were moving in a wave-like function as he gasps so desperately it was almost impossible to say that it was anything but art.

Your cunt is now throbbing at the sight of your boyfriend like this. Your heart hammered in your chest, the adrenaline rush of seeing Spinner being unable to do anything but babble incoherently made your thighs scorching hot. Your other hand releases his twitching cock, flicking his leaking tip when you pull away. Spinner’s pleading gasps are interrupted when you slap his ass, the way his body jerks at the stinging sensation, making you laugh.

“Don’t worry,” you say, grabbing the lube and placing a large amount onto the dildo. “I hope you’re ready for my cock, I want to see you squirm.”

“W-What?” Spinner pants, his eyes dazed, unable to focus on you while you stroke the plastic dildo in your hands.

“Think it’s too big to fit inside you, Spinner?” you wound with a pout; your hand shows off the cock that’s a bit thinner than his own dick. “I haven’t used it on you in a while.”

“It’ll… it’ll fit,” Spinner promises, sweat falling down his cheeks, eyes full of promise.

“Good.” you grin, “I just hope you don’t cum…”

Spinner shudders a shallow breath escaping his nose. The noise taunts you beautifully, a small spark of excitement going down your spine when your tongue slides against your lower lip.

“You’re doing so well,” you praise pressing the head of the black dildo onto his asshole, the head pressing into his clenching pert hole. Your grin widening when Spinner’s hips stuttered beneath your, a failed attempt of getting you further within him and trying not to give out entirely on you. “Now, you’re going to take my cock like a good little pet, and don’t cum.”

Spinner’s voice lets out a whiney splutter, and you shiver at the sound as you move your hips forward. The head of the dildo sinking into his awaiting and eager hole.

He splutters loudly, his fingers tearing holes into the bedsheets. You grunt at the sound of the tearing fabric, but you’re much more concentrated on the way that he is relaxing to the dildo up his ass.

One of your hands is moving up to rub soothing circles on his back as you push deeper inside him, you try to distract him from the initial and long-forgotten pain. Spinner replied with pitched noises, his back muscles flaring with every small movement of yourself. Rutting his hips back into you until you were undeniably inside him, bottoming out entirely so that your thighs push against his ass. 

But you do not wait for him to adjust because he’s done this before, and he loves it when you’re rough. Your thighs twitch with your anticipation, and your hands find reins in Spinner’s hair, and with a small shift of your hips, you drive into him while slamming his head back. The pool of heat within you intensifies as Spinner’s back arches more intensely then you’ve ever seen him span before.

“P-Please go faster!” He begs, and you smirk, your thighs slamming heavily onto his ass, the spanking noises sending chills down your spine. “Faster!”

“Such a good little pet, taking my cock so well, maybe you do deserve to cum,” you praise, and Spinner dares to moan in horny pleasure, his head nodding in his emotional disarray.

“Owner is so good to me, so good, so good,” Spinner babbles as your hips drills against his ass.

A shriek of pleasure leaves his lips as you begin accelerating your hips against his ass. Your pace a lot faster than it has ever been. You began to plunge your hips against him, your fingers yanking at his roots so harshly you swore that you were ripping hair clean off his head. 

But you were also lost in your sadistic glee in the way that Spinner moans loudly, obviously enjoying how you drilled into him. His hips slammed backward to meet yours, his ass bouncing with every thrust. You pant, one of your hands letting go of his hair to land another hard smack on his ass, expecting a raw noise in response. Your face lights up when your boyfriend lets out sinfully ragged moans at the action, his jaw-dropping as he mewls.

“I bet I don’t even need to move to fuck you like this,” you scold, your nails scratching against the curve of his spine, watching his scales flutter around your hard nails. “Maybe I should stop moving and watch you fuck yourself against me like the horny pet that you are.”

Your mouth perks into a prideful smirk, and Spinner is staggering again. Your fingers latch at the hair by the base of his neck, and you snap his head back, delighting in the way that he can no longer keep his eyes open, tears in his eyes.

“Please, owner, more!” Spinner gasps as you shift your hips harshly. His back arching as he clutches the fabric between his fingers. You laugh, your head leaning to press a few harsh bites against his spine.

Biting against scales was indeed a different experience; it was hard yet soft against your skin, it took a bit more strength, but finally, his skin broke, and Spinner howled like a wounded beast.

“Fuck, you look so damn pretty when you’re crying for me,” you moan, uncaring about how your thrusts are becoming more and more sloppy in turn for the power you’re giving. Spinner is so responsive to your actions that you could feel your essence beginning to coat your inner thighs. You’re positive that you’ll be coming as soon as you mount his cock later. 

You grip his hips, angling your body so that you’re thrusting into him at a better angle. Trying to desperately find that angle that will make his eyes roll to the back of his head, to leave him lost of all and any words. To find the edge that will make him scream and drool and babble. The pitched, loud, and raw ‘fuck’ that leaves his lips lets you know you found his prostate. You continue in at that angle, the same power and depth as the rawness of his voice send sharpness down your spine.

Your body feels like it’s on fire as you feel so much power. Your boyfriend’s continuous whimpering is stirring you on because even though Spinner was a sub, whimpering was often something he would never do. Your right-hand leaves his hair, moving to grasp his still rock hard cock in your grasp. “Oh, poor baby,” you coo. “Does your cock need to come?” You pant, the action of your thrusting hips making you sweat.

“Yes, fuck, owner… yes, let me fucking cum!” Spinner blabbers, his eyes barely open, his face burying into the mattress as you fist his length up and down.

You stop your movements, panting against the shell of his ear while you watch his body desperately move against you still, eager, needy, wanting you to continue. Spinner lets out the most pained yelp you’ve ever heard from him, his body desperately and wantonly thrusting against you. “That's right, fuck yourself against me,” you giggle lightly almost too lightly for the activity the two of you were engaging in. “I love seeing your perky ass slamming against my cock, such a good pet, teach me how you like it.” 

Spinner stammers, but his hips are relentless against your stilled body as he continues fucking himself against your dildo, the smacking of his ass against your thighs, an invigorating cry. Your laughs nearly inaudible at the sight of him still fucking himself against you.

“Owner!” Spinner cries, his cock is twitching spastically against your hands.

“Don’t cum yet!” you challenge, your fingers leaving his length, your hips pulling away.

“Please let me come, baby, please!” Spinner pants his hips on a one-track mind while he continues pushing against the strap-on, fucking himself against you despite your attempt to getaway. 

Shoving him forward, you roll off the bend onto the ground, quickly getting yourself free from the dildo.

“Don’t make me take away your reward for not cumming,” you warn, watching Spinner's green cock skin move down, teasing you with the appearance of the two cocks you had been craving for a while.

You stripped yourself of the teddy, shivering slightly when the wet fabric from your slick brushed against your warm thigh. You returned to the same drawer you had once found the leash and pulled out three objects you had put on top of everything for this exact reason. Turning your head, you smiled lazily at the sight of Spinner on his back again, his eyes studying you while the painful-looking erection throbbed against his stomach.

“Legs straight out for me!” you cheer, watching him groan while he extended his legs.

He was behaving so well, with the amount of pre-cum dripping from his cock and spilling onto his stomach — hell you could smell it from all the way across the room — you knew it had to be painful for him right now. He had been so good, such a good little pet for you.

“You’re allowed to cum this time around,” you tell him calmly, your fingers securing knots around his ankles and fastening them to the bed frame. You held up a vibrator, and you saw all the color leave Spinners face when you pressed the probe into his ass. “I just pray you’ll be out of commission once I turn this on…”

Spinners heave when your fingers shove the device until only the top of it is keeping it from going all the way into his clenching asshole. “I guess I’ll have to make you start eating me out before I really let you have fun, ne?”

He doesn’t have the chance to respond because you’re already on top of his face. His pink eyes stare at you, almost red in his lust and passions. You slyly smirk pressing two fingers against your slick before rubbing it against his lips, “I hope you can tongue fuck me as good as my vibrator can fuck you,” you wink as you sink onto his face before he can interrupt you.

His parched lips separate as you move above him, you relish in the feeling of his smooth scales gliding against your skin. It was so much more beautiful than human skin, so much cooler than humans too. But then you felt his tongue tease the center of your lips; you were the master, not him. Your eyes narrowed, unwelcoming of his shy approach. So with the remote to the vibrator in your hand and the leash in the other, you used them. 

The buzzing of the vibrator shakes the mattress, Spinner practically spitting into your cunt with his vicious and strangled yelp — courtesy of the collar. You moan loudly, yanking onto his hair as you shift your hips as if you were riding a mechanical bull, not wanting to let him adjust to this new position. Something hot and sticky splattered on your back, and you turned around to see that Spinner had cum, and by the looks of the milky white substance still unloading from his cocks, he wasn’t done yet.

“Look at your pretty cocks,” you coo, your chest fluttering in excitement, “I bet you can’t wait to cum in my hot pussy, huh, pet?”

You grin at the sight of the two twin pink cocks that stood erect. They were out the reason why you enjoyed fucking your pet so much. Excitement and heat flood your body, your hips are bouncing sloppily against his snout. But you were getting ahead of yourself. Spinner’s tongue pushed against your slit, lapping at the essence that had already gathered. And then a soft and pained groan escaped him as the tip of his tongue pushed against your cavern, and you whined at the way it vibrated through your core.

Your head tilted back as you ground your hips, big bucks shifting through your body as you attempted to get your own high off so you could mount him. His left hand gripped your soft thighs, trying to hold your moving body in place as his right hand curled towards your unappreciated sex, and he mewls at the way your body moved to help him press his claws into you.

“Fuck, pet,” you groan loud enough to be heard as the tip of his nose brushes against your clit, his teeth nipping at the skin of you fold as you grind downwards. 

His tongue finally pushes through your softly throbbing core and twirls against your spasming walls. Then you’re also met with his fingers that run against the opposite wall of his tongue. Your cry of pleasure was loud as you yanked at his hair, your hand landing hard on the mattress as your hips slam against his face. You can feel him trembling underneath you, the wet sound of the vibrator well up to his ass, and his once leaking cock exciting you. But this situation doesn’t deter him, nor does it slow him down as he tries to desperately keep up with your demanding pace.

Pleasure taints your skin like alcohol, making you dizzy, letting incoherent thoughts babble from your tongue at the feeling of his long and cold tongue well within your spongy walls. You struggle to keep your eyes wide open as the pleasurable sensations continue to crash into you as he continues this assault on you. And as you try to reign in your mind, so that you could take control, he enters another finger into you.

Spluttering loudly, you nearly scream at the way his talons scissor within you, or how his tongue laps at your secreting juices as if he was a starving man with only one chance of salvation.

“You taste so good,” he moans against your dripping sex, and you almost scream his name at the way his words cement within your center. “Does this feel good, owner?”

The hand holding your right thigh moves to pinch and twist your clit, and you shriek as your hips buck wildly as sharp pleasure rips through you. Despite your lack of response, your action was enough to make Spinner pleased as he continues to whisper in tongues to you.

Your eyes lull to the back of your head as the tightened pressure, and blazing heat within you only grows with every push and flick of his tongue and fingers. But it's the chuckle that reaches you truly as you will yourself to take back control.

Gasping, you grab a handful of hair and yank his head backward, his tongue now reaching you at a new angle. Your eyes come down to meet his, and the lust and excitement in his eyes affect you as you bite down harshly onto your bruised pink lips. You then begin to bounce against his face in short yet hard jumps, your pussy grinding against him as his eyebrow arches in his pained pleasure.

“W-Who said you were in charge?” you gasp as you swivel your hips, and you can feel his lips smirk as his tongue twirls in rejection. Your hand presses another button on the remote, and you’ve never seen Spinners' eyes slam to the back of his as quickly as you had then. You turned your head around to the creaking of metal, his legs spasming erratically. The high pitch of the vibrator was loud in your ears, and his tongue went slack within you, his fingers falling from your cunt. Once more, milky white seed spurts from his cocks, getting everywhere

“Let’s see how you keep up, pet.”

Your hips were relentless as you rode his mouth, his tongue no longer able to keep up with his slurping and lapping into your moving cunt. Your fingers remained firm in his hair, and the free hand now plays with your nipples in your power drive. You twisted and tugged on the sensitive nubs as you rocked forward and backward. Your panting was growing with the increased pleasure in your body became electrifying, and Spinner was drowning in this new domination.

His tongue remained within your cunt, firing in and out of your spasming walls until he curled them the right way and hit your g-spot. Spinner could not doubt what he hit as your reaction was evident as you not only shrieked loud enough to wake the dead, but your thighs came slamming against his head. 

He hit your g-spot again and again. The accuracy mindblowing as the slurping of your cunt hit your ears in the most ludicrous of ways. Your fingers dug into his skin as you drowned him between your thighs, and then it hit you.

Your release ripped through you the second he hit your g-spot again. The pleasure in your belly is too overwhelming, and your toes curl in electrifying pleasure as you sob into your hand. You can’t handle it anymore, the desire being too much, and your vision turns white as your jaw drops as your screams go silent.

When you come through, you slide off his face. Spinner's face was coated with your juices, shining so prettily against his scales, but his eyes remained at the back of his head, tongue falling out of his mouth, whines, and mewls pouring from his lips.

The vibrator!

Your hand shot out to grab the remote that had fallen from your hold while you were deliriously shot silly from your orgasm, and you looked at his trembling legs and pathetic hips thrusting into the air as if that would satisfy his raging boner.

A thought curled through your mind, and it sat so prettily within you, that you went with it.

Vibrator still on, you swung your leg over his thigh and loomed over him. The two cocks were vertically aligned, and although you had gone many times double penetrating yourself with his thick cocks, you wanted them both in your cunt. 

The ties on his ankles are gone, as is the collar on his neck, and while he snaps up, desperate to get the vibrator off, maybe, you grasp the hot flesh of his cock and impale yourself on him.

“Holy shit.”

White-hot pain flared through your entire body at the feeling of his cocks burning into you. When you had lowered down onto him, his hips had spastically bucked up into you, sheathing you without giving you the time to accommodate to the pulsing flesh of his cocks. Unlike human cocks, his cocks also had the ability to move, and as if you were being fucked by tentacles, they withered inside you. Pushing against your hot velvet walls, scissoring against your spongey wetness, slamming against your cervix wall until your head dipped back in your ecstasy. 

With you bottomed out on him, the both of you were unable to move because Spinner’s mind was revolving around the euphoric feeling of your wet and hot heat clamping around him, unable to completely accept his insertion. Your walls resisted his thickness, squeezing so tightly he thought his cocks might snap off within you, but it spit a lustful fire into him. 

You swore you could feel the vibrator within your core, and you moaned voluptuously. 

“Fuck me, pet.” He mewls as a painful throb in your pussy lulls, and you writhe your hips against him, “N-Now fuck me right. Don’t fucking make me regret letting you help out your owner,” you command as his eyes lock on yours.

There’s something that clicks between the two of your stares, it’s unsaid, and you smirk at the way that he nods his head, his cock twitching within you, sending a crashing pleasure through you once more.

Spinner chuckles breathlessly, small and knowing, and rightfully so as he adheres to your demand. His hips position to a better angle underneath you, a quiet attempt at testing your dominance, and you can only watch behind clenched eyes as he begins thrusting up into you. Your hips move down and in time with his. Both of you desperate under your nearing second orgasms. This heightened state of pleasure brought by the rawness of this all. Spinner’s hands grip your waist. His grip will, for sure, leave bruise marks as he slams your body faster against his. He’s stretching you out with every move, the feeling of his writhing cocks sending shockwaves through your body while you bounced on top of him. By god, does he know how to use his cock even on the brink of insanity. His hands shift as they drag out under your ass, clenching your supple flesh as this difference stretches you out in unimaginable ways.

His hips crashing into yours, the sounds of the vibrator, and your squelching sexes the loudest things in the room, and your cries fuel him.

Your body feels as if it is turning into jelly as he shifts you suddenly onto your back, your legs pressing over his shoulders. His cocks are bottoming out into you, slithering against your cervix, making your back arch off the mattress as you wail out his name. Spinners' heated claws press against your throbbing clit, the nail flicking at the puffy nerve. 

You suppress a sob as he rubs harsh and delicate figure-eights onto your clit. Your pussy is clamping down on his hammering cocks, but not at all slowing him down, and he still grunts and increases his speed and strength.

Your noises of pleasure silence as his cocks hit the back of your walls, your teeth sinking into the flesh of his neck. Spinner howls, a predatorial glaze is coming over his eyes that screams his thoughts of mating and breeding and you, only you. Your legs are thrashing around as he drilled powerfully into you the same way. 

Over and over.

Again and again.

Harder and harder.

His cocks smashing against your walls until he tilts the angle of one of his cock heads and crashes down hard against your g-spot.

“SPINNER!!!” You scream as he continues pounding into your g-spot, a soft thud, and a noisy buzz in the air, letting you know that the vibrator had fallen from his ass. But his pulsating cocks are too much for you to care, too much for you to even want to shove the vibrator all the way up his ass. It’s your turn to recite his name like a prayer as he continues fucking your brains out.

You shoot up off the mattress, your screams muffled through more bites on his neck, blood pouring into your mouth, the metallic taste making your eyes roll back in glory. He was yours. He was yours. He was yours. 

Even though your legs were on his shoulder, you held on. The angle allows Spinner to drive his cocks against your g-spot over and over again. Your body is bouncing with every single slam. His body is giving you exploding sensations, your tightness making Spinner moan and curse.

“I needa – fuuuuck, pet do that again – I needa come!” you pant as your body slams against his own.

“Come for me, owner,” Spinner sighs into your mouth. “Come around my cocks.”

The built-up pleasure in your belly is profuse, it’s built up so fast, and your toes curl in electrifying pleasure. You can’t handle it anymore, the desire being too much.

Your orgasm slams through you, your vision nearly turning white as your jaw drops as your screams go silent. Spinner's mouth continues to move against yours, kissing sloppily against your teeth as he chases his own orgasm. His fangs are digging into your bottom lip as his jaw slacks.

His hips continue slamming into you. They’re brutal as they slam over and over again. He’s chanting your name as your stimulated cunt keeps clenching around his length. His pace is making you grow numb in his arms, although your hips still continue to desperately roll against his. His breathing is heavy and tense. Panting as he struggles to keep himself composed.

“Come inside me…” you whine into his ear, desperate to feel his hot seed within you.

His cocks now move apart, stretching you out in a new way as he presses your back onto the mattress again. The protruding veins on his cocks create insane friction against your walls, and it feels as if you’re being split into two. Spinner fucks you mercilessly, his fingers clenching your ass as you come apart for him. Hito curses loudly as he finally loses himself within you. His hips drilling forward one last time as a heavy load shoots into your throbbing cunt.

Load after load comes spilling from his cocks, your still clenching walls milking him dry. He cums so much, so much so that your belly swells and you moan absolutely satisfied.

“Shit,” Spinner murmured, relaxing entirely on top of you.

“Happy anniversary, pet…”

“I love you, mate.”

“Mmm… Get off me really quick,” you sigh, pushing him off of you. 

Spinner grunts, falling onto the bed with tired eyes, “Where’re you going?”

“Gotta clean up my baby,” you smile, wincing when you land on both your feet. The soreness of your body is very apparent, and it has your head spinning slightly before you walk over to the sink. You warm up a cloth under running hot water, against your slightly aching fingers the warm water is a relief and you watch the dried blood slowly leave under your skin.

You wring the cloth of water and walk back to the bed, you easily climb it and see Spinners calm form on the bed. He breathes in deeply, his chest rising and falling contently.

“How are you feeling?” you ask rubbing the cloth against the dried cum on his stomach.

“That was intense,” he chuckles, his eyes cracking open to watch you clean him of the cum. “You?”

“Pretty damn good,” you smile, crawling to his neck, rubbing the dried blood gentle away. You press a gentle kiss against his mouth, living for the way he sighs against your hold. “Do you want to shower after waking up?”

Spinner can only grunt, no longer able to speak.

Giggling you pulled the blankets over the two of you, and despite the heavy smell of sweat and sex clinging to the both of you, you cuddle in close. Relaxing when his scaly arms tighten around you contently.

“Thank you,” he whispers when your nose presses against his chest.

“Sleep, baby,” you yawn. “Sleep.”

And so, the two of you drifted off, perfectly in love and content with how your night went.

[toxicsamruby]

im having thoughts abt the finale and im gonna make it all of ur problem

general line of thinking is i think that it wasnt fair that dean died in the finale bc he deserved to live a long happy life/he was suicidal and it’s fucked up to frame a suicidal character dying young as a happy ending. and i think that might hold water if death had any meaning in supernatural whatsoever and dean dying wasnt just going to a wonderful blissful heaven where all his dead friends and family were and where he knew he’d see the most important person in his life again in a few years. so.

but also like. dean was a terrible person. so was sam, to a lesser extent, but still. they were basically serial killers literally the entire show was like monsters are people and they need to be exterminated anyway. dean and sam did NOT deserve heaven and if the same rules applied to them as everybody else they would have been in hell for EVER

but ALSO like. i hesitate to say anybody deserves eternal torture. shouldnt that have been an option? isn’t that something a self aware narrative would do? our main characters are horrible selfish murderous people who care more about keeping each other alive than they do about literally anything/anyone else? but we have spent 15 years getting to know them and understanding them and sympathizing with them and in a show about monsters where monsters and people are one and the same where nobody is a monster but everybody is a monster doesn’t that mean that human beings are capable of horrors and that doesn’t make them monsters it doesn’t mean theres something INHERENTLY wrong with them it means that they made bad choices and are therefore capable of making good choices? wouldnt reforming or even abolishing the afterlife have been the best way to end the story?

but ALSO LIKE. isn’t dying sort of a cop out in itself? dean (and sam, actually, since he just ran off to do the suburban normal life thing) just clocked out of any kind of accountability! neither of them r ever forced to deal w all the horrible things they did or all the evil ideas they lived by. it’s the ultimate assurance that it’s fine because they’re good people at heart. and don’t both sam and dean have this moment with castiel in the last season? he tells them it’s okay, you were good the whole time, it’s fine, you fucked up but it’s okay because you’re a good person and you deserve good things. and then dean dies and a little later sam dies and they go to heaven and it just drives home this idea like you’re FUNDAMENTALLY a good person and the bad stuff was just a mistake and you’ve suffered so much that the bad stuff just gets struck from the record. and it shouldnt work like that like whats that bojack quote. life’s a bitch and you have to keep living. they should have HAD to make amends. REAL amends, not just been in incredible pain and called that purification. they shouldve had to EARN goodness and kindness because you don’t get to be a lying murderer for years and have it handwaved with it’s okay because you deserved heaven all along. dying means that they didnt have to be accountable for anything they did

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [a phone number]

Ronnie: found you your own special plug

Joe: Can’t wait to get gang-raped by whoever this is

Joe: or maybe it’s a phishing scam, what route have you gone down 🤔

Ronnie: route of she can be your number 8 cos youre such a bike

Joe: it’s that kind of hook-up

Ronnie: pay for the gear if you cant get it up soft lad she looks fuck all like your ma

Ronnie: couldnt track down no more of her bastards for you soz

Joe: taking your role that seriously?

Joe: alright

Ronnie: getting out of it

Ronnie: she can babysit you

Joe: she probably lost custody of her own so

Joe: nice of you on all fronts

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: what, your dealer don’t like me or something

Ronnie: how the fuck would i know like

Ronnie: and how would he you legged it out of there soon as he showed

Joe: no shit I did

Ronnie: ordeals over now baby go cry to your new mammy about it

Joe: unlikely

Joe: but it ain’t my ordeal so

Ronnie: they ll swab & treat him he ll be sound

Joe: give a shit about him

Ronnie: if youve got something to say

Joe: I just said it

Joe: I don’t care about him

Ronnie: you dont care about me fuck off with your heroics

Joe: you didn’t want swooping up and saving, don’t mean I don’t give a fuck

Ronnie: your student loan aint gonna cover both our habits youd have me dopesick cause youre fucking jealous that means you dont

Joe: you’re jealous

Joe: and I said, didn’t stop you, didn’t say you had to

Joe: what’s fun about something oozing and itching in your pants, that’s all

Ronnie: of what

Joe: of every boring ex I have or will ever have

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: get em in a room together and they aint even jealous of each other

Joe: I know

Joe: x2

Ronnie: you dont know shit mckenna

Joe: so today I’m green

Joe: not the know-it-all smug college kid

Joe: nice to know how to play it

Ronnie: smug is right whenever i aint gonna suck your dick cause you can read music

Joe: that’s all that’s stopping you?

Ronnie: nah remember its the death wish attention whoring & mommy issues

Ronnie: cant both be functioning junkies youd have fuck all else to get a boner about

Joe: how long have you been doing heroin

Ronnie: youve got loads of catching up to do

Joe: yeah, so I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m being high and mighty

Joe: it’s literally been days

Ronnie: cause you are

Joe: no I’m not, just ‘cos I’d rather not suck dick when I have the funds

Joe: would you do it if you had the cash, that’s just stupid

Ronnie: youve been comparing me to any & every cunt since we met

Joe: like you don’t shit on me any and every chance you get

Joe: you were acting like them, the whole none of my shit is real because yours is SO real, that’s her whole bit

Ronnie: you cant stop fucking doing it even now fucks sake

Ronnie: i shit on you for you its not like i have any cunt to compare you to

Joe: alright, if you’re that sensitive about it

Joe: I’ll really stop

Joe: there 🤐

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: nah, that was a dick move, alright

Joe: let me make it up to you

Ronnie: youre crying shes a patronising cunt guess what youre right there too

Joe: alright, I deserve that

Ronnie: drop dead

Ronnie: yeah its been days days of me giving you whatever the fuck you ask for

Joe: I know

Joe: so what do you want, seriously

Joe: I’ll do it, make it happen, whatever

Ronnie: like fuck can you make anything happen

Ronnie: youre like every other doss cunt i know theres your comparison

Joe: Probably am

Joe: but you’re the only person I’ve met who feels close to whatever the fuck I am

Joe: there’s the truth

Ronnie: whichever of your exes that worked on is more west than either of us

Joe: Oh I can easily be that dickhead and tell you how crazy they all were

Ronnie: go ed

Joe: the second to last one was the worst

Joe: full-on stalked and harassed the last one like, for no reason

Joe: she also messed with all my shit in a way she thought would send me into an OCD spiral because she didn’t get it

Joe: and when she started hooking up with some other kid she’d send me pics like I’d be 💔

Joe: that’s just after, that was all kind of amusing in a boring way, she was less amusing to be with but more mental

Ronnie: shouldve had some tips off her for the stalking bullshit its probably not too late to send her a dm

Ronnie: ones ive got from this is i dont have to bother learning the alphabet cos id be better off fucking with your record collection by smashing it up & child porn does fuck all for you

Joe: that is my thing, turning up uninvited to fuck everything up

Joe: she might go for it

Joe: exactly, both good to know, yeah 😏

Joe: all pretty basic and vanilla but still, annoying as shit

Ronnie: unless you can get me to do it for you yeah

Ronnie: dinners at what like 7

Joe: you’re gonna ruin my happy uni home?

Joe: oh no

Joe: be there be 7, eating at 8, apparently

Joe: time to ‘mingle’ as she put it which sounds suspicious af

Ronnie: fucking hell

Ronnie: thank christ i already hate you

Joe: saves times, energy less so

Joe: your mate is up for it, unless he’s a convincing liar, which I could see

Ronnie: what energy do you want name it theres gear thatll give us it

Ronnie: he is but i cant see the con shes got fuck all any cunt wants other than pasta shapes & mariahs likely on a diet

Joe: 🤤 and not over her appetizers, like

Joe: there’ll only be the 6 of us so we’ll need entertainment

Ronnie: lad flatmates bringing a bitch

Ronnie: shes gonna need something to get her through it or something she can use to end it

Joe: yeah he has a missus

Joe: even though him and Sophie belong together as the most average whitebread couple ever

Ronnie: make it happen then

Joe: where’s my bow and arrow

Joe: their 💘 ain’t my problem

Ronnie: you said you could do whatever and we needed entertainment

Ronnie: put all that money where your mouth is

Joe: you’re well sweet

Joe: you want her to be living her best life

Joe: dunno if I can hack being his shoulder to cry on in the interim

Ronnie: your teeth wont have time to rot before you choke on em talking to me like that

Joe: go on then

Ronnie: you owe me i dont owe you

Joe: I thought you’d ask for something better

Joe: but your loss

Ronnie: yours youre thinking about it

Joe: I get it, you want it to be hell living here

Ronnie: i dont wanna have to ask

Joe: for what

Ronnie: anything

Joe: why not

Ronnie: you think you can read my mind or some shit

Joe: I’d like to

Joe: and I think you get me, and yeah, I think I get you more than the bullshit mommy issues attention whore comment that was to get a reaction

Joe: I don’t think we’re twin flames just because we share some DNA, I’m not that kind of delusional, believe it or not

Ronnie: cause weve shared a needle though yeah

Joe: I get it, another kid with a habit, you’ve met hundreds

Joe: it is different though

Joe: tell me it isn’t

Ronnie: different cos its a habit you didnt have days ago

Joe: it’s not your fault

Joe: for good or bad

Joe: you didn’t spike me without asking

Ronnie: i didnt say that

Ronnie: i said thats why its different

Joe: yeah

Ronnie: nobody did any of this shit for me i dont know why im doing it for you

Joe: do you want to, or do you think you need to

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: you either fuck with me, you like fucking with me or you think you’ve got to protect me or some bollocks

Ronnie: protect you from the needle i stuck in your arm yeah that makes loads of sense

Joe: from getting a bad dose, being beat up by one of your dealers

Ronnie: i just wanted a front row seat

Ronnie: im not gonna get one when your family finds out

Joe: that’s fine by me

Joe: you reckon they’ll fly me home for an intervention then?

Joe: shouldn’t be surprising how oblivious they are

Ronnie: i dont care what they do to try & fix it youll be at rock bottom by then

Joe: they won’t try, they don’t

Joe: just because I weren’t shooting up doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing plenty other fucked shit for ages without it ever being a conversation

Joe: one of the kids that they took in, is a walking skeleton

Joe: can’t get her to eat, some reason don’t do anything but try to reason with her like she’s reasonable, never mind the rest

Ronnie: no shit they dont i was proof of it before you or her

Ronnie: in the same town with the same name she fucking gave me and still out of sight out of mind

Joe: precisely

Joe: so if you’re hoping fucking me up will get her to come about then you shouldn’t bother, honestly

Joe: save yourself that disappointment

Ronnie: it aint about her paying attention

Joe: good

Ronnie: you wanna know me i only want you to know what it feels like

Joe: then let’s do it

Ronnie: nah i was rem to reckon it was worth shit

Ronnie: it aint

Ronnie: you aint

Ronnie: youre never gonna have your head wrecked how mine is and i cant be arsed to put the time in fucking you up in the selfish special way i need when you keep pure loving it like

Joe: is that not indicative of how I’m already quite fucked enough

Joe: just because it’s not abandonment based

Joe: what normal cunt would love any of this, even contact you again after the first

Ronnie: fuck no

Ronnie: youre living your best life and it makes me wanna hang myself

Joe: Christ, you’re up yourself, aren’t you

Ronnie: &

Joe: you want me to roll my sleeves up again and show you the recent damage?

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: [pics]

Ronnie: [obvs gotta send him some back]

Joe: [a straight up new one like just did it]

Ronnie: [ofc she has to also like this is a competition]

Joe: [hope you started small so you have somewhere to go ‘cos the vibe]

Ronnie: [knowing y’all you didn’t but it won’t stop you and I will be forever on edge]

Joe: [so grim, don’t pass out]

Ronnie: [or end up needing stitches]

Joe: [probably do them yourselves, ick]

Joe: do you fucking get it yet

Ronnie: why do you care

Joe: why do you think

Ronnie: i keep telling you i dont

Joe: braindead sounds ideal

Ronnie: horse girl not about to suffocate you

Joe: she would if I let her, like

Joe: 🍈🍈

Ronnie: wait til theres a chance ill choke on my vomit next time christ

Joe: so lay back and I’ll tell you some more

Ronnie: ok go

Joe: [go on about Sophie in a way I shall not even bother but let us assume it is crude and rude af]

Ronnie: [we’re not into poor Soph but they clearly are]

Joe: [just fuck and get it out the way lads, so rude to everyone else rn]

Ronnie: [honestly, but hopefully at this dinner party because Jamie jealousy will be off the charts]

Joe: [Charlie gon have to keep quiet ‘til you home lmao]

Joe: Any luck?

Ronnie: got no pasta shapes in my system have i

Ronnie: but why the fuck are you not lurking to save me

Joe: you want me to swallow the bile for you then, okay

Joe: the last one looked deep

Ronnie: deep enough if you wanna pussy out and spit instead

Joe: I don’t

Joe: where are you

Ronnie: dorothys

Joe: he in?

Joe: if I have to show him it’s brotherly concern you’ll only die quicker

Ronnie: nosey cunt wouldve stopped me

Joe: Yeah

Joe: I can say sorry if you want or I can just come patch you up and not lie first

Ronnie: i dont need your help

Joe: I know

Joe: purely wanna save you for my own complex and to be loving life even harder

Ronnie: wank off about the sos from the other day thats it i cant top you carrying me out til the bleeding stops

Joe: I’m coming over

Joe: you’ve got time to lock the door if you really don’t want me to come in

Joe: can get my own shattered glass without breaking his windows

Ronnie: he must like you to have given you his address

Ronnie: but not enough to overshare the door dont lock cos i broke it 💔

Joe: or am I better stalker than you give credit

Joe: thanks for the tip, baby

Ronnie: youd have been waiting for me to get here not the other way round

Joe: You do want me to read your mind

Joe: maybe a lobotomy will help

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: reading your mind you want me to pass out before you fuck me but its not that deep

Joe: the wound or the vIbEzzZ

Ronnie: this your coming out cos you sound like charlie

Joe: just trying to turn you off, don’t want blood to gush out

Ronnie: liar youd be made up to see that

Joe: not hiding in the bushes yet

Joe: slow down

Ronnie: youre used to being the big brother i get it

Joe: Something like that

Ronnie: i know how to ride a bike without stabilisers or whatever the fuck

Joe: and tie your shoes

Joe: it’s alright, we’ve established I’m not a paedo

Joe: what can’t you do then

Ronnie: err what a nonce would say

Ronnie: read music we also fucking established

Joe: you teach me how to shoot myself up, I’ll teach you how to

Ronnie: not a fair swap i dont need to learn how

Joe: You don’t wanna be a babysitter either, so you’ve said

Ronnie: you dont like me any more or what

Joe: Of course I do

Joe: You got me my own dealer first

Ronnie: you asked me to 1st

Joe: How did I?

Ronnie: what else is ? for a plug without giving a fuck if ive rattled myself into a ditch

Joe: If I talked to you as much as I felt like

Joe: You’d tell me to fuck off more than you already do

Joe: I’ve got no clue where the line is, how much you want me to care

Ronnie: what line

Ronnie: i dont want you to care

Joe: Tough shit

Joe: I didn’t ask you to get me a dealer

Ronnie: you fucking did

Joe: I just didn’t wanna see you suck dick on my behalf, alright, that’s all

Joe: what you do for yourself is your business

Ronnie: calm down nothing i do is for you

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: dont call her then

Joe: you on commission?

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: If I do, you’ll still have to see me

Ronnie: youll see me bleed out on the kitchen floor 1st

Joe: You’re a pro, I know you’re being overly-dramatic

Ronnie: at opening as many veins as itll take to not have to see you again yeah

Joe: to make me hurry*

Joe: I’m on the tube

Joe: you have to live in the middle of nowhere

Ronnie: no fixed address i told you

Joe: ❗️

Joe: if there’s a break-up or a thruple, you can have the extra room

Joe: makes sense now

Ronnie: it dont make sense you reckon we can afford any extras however far out

Joe: like you said, she’ll get homesick and chuck it in even if Marc won’t dump his girlfriend

Ronnie: if she does youll be homeless too like unless his missus is gonna cover the costs of the en suite for you

Joe: you can have my room, it’s the smallest

Joe: they can have the en-suite palace and I’ll take theirs, which is not next to the others 👌

Ronnie: not that youve thought loads about it

Joe: if you heard her disney playlist everyday, you’d think about it as well

Ronnie: id think about killing her or myself not a cosy little bed swap

Ronnie: shed never hack living with me nor would you

Joe: well that thought is never far from the front of my mind

Joe: if you need the bed, you know it’s yours

Ronnie: get it through your head i need fuck all from you

Joe: yeah, yeah

Ronnie: theres this way of living when youre not inside your ma in every possible sense course you aint heard about it

Joe: you need to prove you’re self-sufficient ‘cos no one’s ever given a shit about you but Charlie and the other one

Joe: I’m aware you’ve made it to your old age without me, you’re alright

Ronnie: i need to be it the only proofs im not dead yet baby

Ronnie: you need me to be old cos im not in a fucking coma & you cant get it up else

Joe: I’d rather be in the coma myself but you can be too

Joe: not calling dibs

Ronnie: oldest gets 1st dibs

Joe: *until the youngest cries about it so much you get told to give in to shut ‘em up

Ronnie: try me

Joe: you know you can’t hack my crying

Joe: does your head in SO much

Ronnie: save it for when you need lube or horse girl is gonna be coming after you with the leftover glue so you can never fucking leave her

Joe: come at you with the needle and sew us together, babe

Joe: unlucky

Ronnie: more than unlucky if i cant bust a stitch open to be the dead girl you want

Joe: you’re the dead girl I want already come on

Ronnie: til i teach you how to 💉 yourself

Joe: nah

Ronnie: 💘

Joe: looking well deformed these days, my one

Ronnie: could cut it out know youd be made up for the matching needlework

Joe: you play mad professor I’ll play corpse

Ronnie: long as i dont have to play nice

Joe: know what you take me for, actually, but no

Joe: obviously not

Ronnie: cant take you anywhere even if i did wanna

Joe: god imagine the dent in your street cred, sis

Ronnie: if i could cry i obviously would

Joe: repression or fucked tear ducts from all the 😭 you been doing

Ronnie: what im that baby faced youre taking me for a newborn now

Joe: nah, mr i don’t fuck kids here, remember

Joe: plus kids are always calling 999 by mistake and they’d get there before me

Joe: maybe, depends how many people have stabbed other people today

Ronnie: id have got the numbers up but ive been busy like

Joe: gotta make time for you, babes

Joe: it’s called self-care

Ronnie: ask me what with

Ronnie: shittest stalker ever you are

Joe: go on

Joe: school us

Ronnie: cant cry cos when i was linking you with a plug you dont want i was getting myself linked with your meds

Ronnie: best guess as a better stalker than you & less basic white girl than your crazy ex

Joe: 💡 fairplay

Joe: won’t tell you any other side-affects, see if you can guess ‘em right

Ronnie: i wasnt gonna take em but you want me to get you so bad

Joe: yeah misunderstood white boy is selling less these days

Joe: help a brother out

Ronnie: fuck all has happened so i probably cant

Joe: 💔 oh well

Joe: they’re nothing exciting, even though I managed to get the highest dosage they’ll do

Ronnie: maybe mines off for not giving you the benefit of the doubt when i could continue reckoning youre such a pussy

Joe: you’ll forget by tomorrow, no problem

Ronnie: neither brother is gonna let me if they walk in on me microdosing theyll reckon its a getting well party and get the deccies out

Joe: only so many times you can just kidding that ‘fore it gets old

Joe: we’ll go out, when I get there

Ronnie: where you kidnapping me to baby

Joe: I know enough to know it’s all wrong turns and blindfolds, not giving you a map

Ronnie: if its a&e no cunts finding your body even with a map

Joe: piss off

Ronnie: give us a clue

Joe: I’ll mark it with an X if you do me

Ronnie: if you ever fucking get here

Joe: if we were sewn together this wouldn’t be a problem

Ronnie: wanting to look like twins so nobodyll give a shit that you wanna fuck me would be something youd think about on the tube mckenna

Joe: they run in my old man’s DNA so have to look for those bastards instead

Joe: all I know about hers is addiction

Ronnie: course he does fuck alls your own idea

Ronnie: if hes got a sister even a meff nancy drew like youll be able to find bastards they had together

Joe: loads, Catholic, remember

Joe: twins kid is black though so process of elimination

Ronnie: cute how that runs in your family too like

Joe: guess so

Joe: not like it’s that crazy a concept

Ronnie: not like youve ever met an irish catholic who werent a saint yeah

Joe: it’s a fucked place to live

Joe: really third world in that respect

Ronnie: your real da is who you wanna look for if hes got no bastards going about its cos he cant knock anyone up

Joe: that your all men are pigs stance

Joe: alright courtney calm down

Joe: I’m out now anyway, don’t need a real mum or dad to come rescue us from the priests and that

Ronnie: nah its a fact unless his twin kept going up the backstreet or he was only sticking it in her other 2 holes

Joe: they didn’t really grow up together

Joe: he left when he was 15

Joe: maybe she was a late bloomer, happy days

Ronnie: 💔 your ma wasn’t then i wouldnt be here

Joe: no dig about how you’re dying now anyway ‘cos I’m taking so long?

Joe: you must be fading fast and not just being a dramatic bitch

Joe: good thing I’m in [wherever we ended up locating y’all] now

Ronnie: shut up i said its not that deep

Ronnie: youre the dramatic bitch legging it here for a fucking scratch

Joe: you wanted me to

Ronnie: you want to i dont give a shit

Joe: right, that’s what I meant

Ronnie: you can stop with the gay shit i told you hes not here

Joe: gays don’t own sarcasm

Ronnie: they own getting attached to cunts fast who dont care

Joe: awh, you being replaced rn?

Ronnie: horse girl wishes

Joe: Can’t catch a break or a man that one

Ronnie: after a pity fuck with you who knows what shed catch

Joe: you wanna infect her by-proxy, you’re so blatant

Ronnie: i shouldve got you to bring her my bloods everywhere

Joe: adding her puke to the mix would make it interesting, sure

Joe: bet she knows first aid

Ronnie: if youre too pussy to break my ribs yourself get back on the tube

Joe: threaten me with a good time

Ronnie: i just did

Joe: without meaning it, yeah

Ronnie: try and hurt me i mean it

Joe: [why do y’all always set the tension so high lads lmao, we know but]

Ronnie: [me and my boo here like calm down you can’t hook up yet but they are both like !!!!]

Joe: [shouldn’t have let you get on that train sir but you would so]

Ronnie: [I shouldn’t let her open her mouth ever but here we are]

Joe: [forreal lmao]

Ronnie: [gotta draw an x on him in her blood when he shows up before we can do a more permanent one however we are either as a scar or tattoo so soz for increasing the tension even more lol]

Joe: [just got to stare at her for ages and then shove her away very dramatically ‘cos you can’t, head through to whichever room she was bleeding in to assess/gawp at]

Ronnie: [she’s gotta lol like well if that’s the best you can do at trying to hurt me I’m not worried]

Joe: [‘whaddya use?’ and just going through this flat as if you’ve been here before/were invited by anyone but Ronnie vaguely because manners can’t matter when we’ve gone this far already]

Ronnie: ['what, you didn't

touch yourself enough on the tube?' but we are obvs showing him whatever we did use because it's just another way to flirt and we can use it to make that x happen so]

Joe: [shakes head ‘spill too much and they emergency stop’ and a look like do I look like I wanna be on a psychward but in a 😏 don’t answer that way, doing our own tallies with it, of course]

Ronnie: ['we're walking then' like where are you taking me don't get comfy bitch]

Joe: [little disbelieving lol like excuse me princess ‘your carriage was unavailable’

Ronnie: ['no shit the horse is dead busy']

Joe: [‘I ain’t taking you to a stable’]

Ronnie: ['that's where we ain't going, now tell me where the fuck we are' because we're like an excited kid about this]

Joe: [it’s cute and we clearly think so even if we’re distracting ourselves with this self-harm so we don’t go too far, unrelated but I haven’t thought where yous are going lmao but I’m vibing something London but something she wouldn’t have done, something music related, also if it has like, kid vibes, bonus, I’ll have to look so just keeping tight-lipped to be annoying and surveying the bloody carnage he’s now added to ‘you want to clean up?’]

Ronnie: [it'd be cute if there was something like thinktank but for music instead of science but idk if that exists anyways in answer to that question she's just gonna remove her top or whatever like yeah it do have blood on even though we know that's not what he means because we're still in a flirty mood despite how annoying his non reply is]

Joe: [that’s what I’m vibing but likewise have no idea, I’m sure there is shit though and you could find it Joseph, anyway, truly the this is fine meme about that ‘cos you can’t turn away 😳 but also boy don’t, moving like you’re gonna come close to her though]

Ronnie: [soz Charlie cos she shamelessly threw her top on the floor and isn't gonna clean up any of this blood even on herself like I literally should say she goes to the sink and then to get clean clothes but instead we all know she's just gonna take Joe's jacket or whatever and put that on, thank god he's all about the layers]

Joe: [god bless the grunge

aesthetic, ‘do you do it in front of him?’ and touching the cuts that are still showing ‘cos you know there’s some still, and it is like when and where do you do this when you do not have a room lmao]

Ronnie: ['yeah' leaving it up to him whether he wants to think it's in an attention whore way cos we're still annoyed at that call out lol but realistically it's just because of how long they've known each other and how they be living, she's not actively trying to upset Charlie that much most of the time]

Joe: [‘does he do it?’ ‘cos we can’t imagine it from the little we know but also can’t imagine him just chilling if he isn’t as fucked as them]

Ronnie: [the facial expression equivalent of his amused lol earlier because no]

Joe: [dropping it even though you find this odd like don’t worry boy, the tea is he is getting over it and wanting her to stop, pulling the jacket sleeve to take her out the door like come on]

Ronnie: ['he knows what'll happen if he tries to stop me' cos you can't tell me that when they were younger he didn't do exactly that and she went ballistic but more importantly HOW DARE YOU BOO because that is 1000% a Fraze move and I'm dead]

Joe: [yes I thought it was legit for a parallel, enjoy the long trip back to central guys]

Ronnie: [idk how we are gonna stop you hooking up to fill the time other than the other people in close proximity lol]

Joe: [maybe a uni/work obligation can come in and he has to go like legit ‘cos that’d kill this off]

Ronnie: [personally devastated that means an iou for this cute date but I love how fuming she would be at never finding out where they were going]

Ronnie: [not to mention the not at all casual and public domestic they’d have would be such a fat mood and show she cares when she’s literally like umm what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving]

Joe: [love how blatant we both are individually]

Ronnie: [hard same]

Joe: They sprung that rehearsal on us last minute

Joe: I already said, I’d give you the funds and you could go do whatever

Ronnie: and i told you to go fuck yourself

Ronnie: or your cello

Joe: I wouldn’t have wasted my time let alone yours if I knew that was gonna happen

Joe: how would you go about fucking a cello, exactly

Ronnie: waste more of your own time figuring it out its your raging hard on for it

Joe: I can’t not go

Joe: they make you sign a bloodoath when you get in basically

Joe: no excuses

Ronnie: youd have found an excuse fast enough if id stuck a needle in your arm

Joe: no, I wouldn’t, ‘cos it wasn’t an option

Joe: there was already enough damage to hide

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what options youve got

Joe: right, tell it to the crowd that amassed, they might believe you a tiny bit more than I do

Joe: I’ll make it up to you, okay

Ronnie: thats what soft cunts wanna hear when you cant hide no more & since you reckon you wont be getting forced into treatment you get to keep your gob shut for all that being sorry bullshit

Joe: make it into something it ain’t ‘cos you can’t hack hearing it

Ronnie: i dont wanna hear from you end of

Joe: alright

Joe: see you around then

Ronnie: 🖕

[fmdkiana]

【✧】━━━━━ 🌿 k i a n a     i n t r o     p l a y l i s t 🌿 ━━━━━【✧】

these are nineteen songs that i’ve been listening to while making kiana’s blog [x] some i came across, some randomly thought of, and some suggested by lovely muns i’ve been chatting about kiana to. since she’s a character that i’ve adapted for the purpose of famed, these songs have helped ground me in the person she is. i hope the songs and descriptions below will help you learn kiana a little better too

1. to be torn by kyla la grange

this first song was a suggestion from someone, and i think set the tune for the rest of my choices. apparently it’s from beauty and the beast? lol anyway it describes this desire to be torn, a carnal need to be used. the heavy sound of it is kind of haunting, a bit sad, but also strong. the emotion can be felt even without the lyrics. kiana has this part of her that deeply craves being important, whether it comes at her own expense -her own tearing- or not. also forewarning that a lot of these overlap on the same concepts. shrug emoji

2. intertwined by dodie

intertwined is a song that immediately came to mind for kiana after to be torn. when this song came out, many people saw it as a cute love story, wanting to be intertwined with a lover, and have them be the safe space when you have a troubled head. however, dodie made a video debunking this, against her natural inclination, because the song describes something severely unhealthy. the following music video also helped many people to see the gore that’s strung throughout the lyrics. it Actually describes a relationship where the participants have put all of their source of happiness in one another, and it’s left them codependent, but ever seeking more. kiana has this perpetual trouble in relationships, especially romantic ones

3. bite by troye sivan

i can be the subjective of your dreams, your sickening desire is a pretty good sum up of where the inspo comes from. it’s difficult, when talking about the negative parts of kiana, to not talk about her ex-boyfriend. i have lots planned to talk on so i won’t go on forever here, but it reminds me of how all it took was the tiniest invitation for kiana to “become his.” that’s how she works. come here puppy, don’t bite, and she’ll heel at your side forever. at least, back then. she’s someone who seems difficult, because she’s very asocial, but with the right formula, it could be so easy to slip her into your arms

4. hell in heaven by twice wish

this song is a bit similar to intertwined, i would say? someone who feels stuck, drowning in a “hell” that is only saved by a piece of “heaven/paradise.” yet they’re in between the place of hell and heaven, constantly confused of where they land, because they’ve placed their hope for salvation in this one, singular place/person. they want to be freer than they are, yet their salvation keeps them locked away. open the door to heaven, let me walk on the cloud. the day i’m trapped in you, save me, hold me tight

5. dinner & diatribes by hozier

a few different levels come from this song. while it was created with the idea of how tedious social gatherings are, the story that comes from it makes another world. kiana is asocial, and struggles with fear over social situations, which make something like dinner parties quite stressful for her. she’s also someone who isn’t fond of small talk, and more likely that type to say ‘talk to me about your deepest fears,’ but... she actually means it and isn’t saying it to be pretentious. she would much rather see the sickest, nastiest parts of someone, soak all of that up, than talk about whether the food was good. the music video describes this in part, but also gives a hades/persephone but worse type of story that is also quite kiana aligned. that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of

6. creep by radiohead

i want you to notice when i’m not around. so fuckin special, i wish i was special, but i’m a creep. not to ‘have you ever seen me without this hat’ on you, but lissen! kiana is forever convinced she’s an outsider. the things she likes are more Cool these days than they were when she was a kid, but the feeling of being ostracized for liking them back then will always live with her. she’s an insecure overthinking fuck at times too. and also desperately wants to be someone special, and unique, as if having that would make her pain of feeling different worth it

7. seigfried by frank ocean

the meaning of this song is pretty different from how i view it in relation to kiana. for her, the focus is on the idea of ‘settling down’ being... acceptance of normality? her whole life, she’s been searching for someone and/or something that makes her feel special. she became an idol for this exact reason, dated her ex for that reason, seeks the relationships she does, thinks she could still have superpowers for this reason. but the truth is that she’s pretty normal. her hobbies are very normal people type things. her talents aren’t anything that would have her being called top of the line. her thoughts are all things other people have thought of. her booksmart intelligence isn’t any stronger than the average. she is very normal, and the tiny part of her that acknowledges that usually shoves it away. but on occasion, she wonders if she should accept it, and settle

8. gimme love by joji

gimme gimme love is all you really need to know lol kiana doesn’t stick around easily when she’s not being given the same kind of world-ending affection from those she’s chosen to share that with that she gives out. she gives at Least 110% of her love, affection, and loyalty into anyone that she has chosen to keep closest to her heart, and if she isn’t getting that back, she can feel dejected, unloved, and unimportant. she may give people like this a few chances to change, but her expectations, or “standards,” won’t change

9. pain by king princess

cos i can’t help turning my love into pain is the strongest lyric that ties back to kiana. the overall message isn’t as strong because king princess has a different view on a relationship as described than kiana. for her, it’s yet another kiana will put herself in the face of terrible parts of relationships. the trouble is that she enjoys it, and seeks it, thinking it’s the ultimate show of love. not to pain one another, but to be pained without them. also realizing after all these i should be saying this applies to her inner circle friendships as well, but the standards are just a little less heavy

10. any song by zico sun

not one for big gatherings, kiana likes to have her social interaction either through the wire, or in small groups (duos are best to her tbh) the song has an upbeat tune that contrasts against the lyrical meaning of something more about... any song will do, something to drag away the sadness that’s living inside. kiana functions a bit like that, always seeking her uniqueness to bust out and save her from her own mind thinking she’s not good enough

11. why won’t they talk to me? by tame impala

she is asocial, but that doesn’t mean being a hermit,, an otaku,, whatever you want to call her, is a life full of happiness. she functions very well on her own, but when she has that for too long, it can be damaging to her head as well, especially when she has inner circle friends or a romantic relationship. when not speaking to these people, the need for human connection seems unbearable to deal with, and anxiety runs rampant

12. alien by lee suhyun

her mama told her she’s alien, but actually it was herself telling herself she’s alien mixed with influence from pop culture making her want to be a superhero and kids who told her she was a freak, all coming together in the desire for weirdness to be a Cool thing. kiana will wish til the day she croaks that she will have a realization that she has a special power

13. stressed out by twenty one pilots

ki doesn’t care about the core message of this song. many people relate to oh no bills~ adult stress~ but kiana doesn’t. even if she wasn’t born into a family that could live comfortably, and didn’t become an idol making phat stacks, she would feel the same. to her, it’s an inevitability. HOWEVA the beginning lines are 1:1 for how she wishes to be something extraordinary, and is supa insecure that she isn’t. i wish found some better sounds that no one’s ever heard. i wish i had a better voice that sang some better words ... i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink but now i’m insecure and i care what people think

14. true crime by epik high ft. miso

not exactly 1:1 word by word, since there’s several perspectives coming in one song, however, the overall message i think can be summed in it’s a true crime to be without you. other lines like i’d open up my chest for your entertainment, that was the line that drew me to originally put this in the playlist. i’m not sure on a story behind the song, but it strikes me as something bonnie & clyde-esque? there’s themes of being on the run, lying on the pavement dying, stuff like that. that kind of relationship is strongly the ideals kiana holds for her romantic and close platonic relationships

15. shine by pentagon (shouldve been knight but bad bois image PLAYIN)

i cannot explain to u the random joy this dumb song gave me when it came out. it’s similar to power up like i just?? get so happy lol anyway the whole premise is like nerdy person has a crush n theyre like oh my god~ why would u like me~ i cant say i like u~ it’s super fucking cute. i’m a loser who loves you. yes, i’m a misery. to you, i’m a nuisance, i’m an outsider, but in this world, i only need you. that’s where the kiana part comes in strongest, or explains it in one sentence. she worries she isn’t enough for others but her affections are always incredibly strong. also she’s cute

16. tail by sunmi dimensions soloist 2

when i first heard this song, i needed to play it again to pay attention to the lyrics because i had the feeling it was kiana-esque. i was right, but i would say that it’s where kiana could go at her worst. has she been there? i’m not so sure. perhaps teetering on the edge of having her claws out, but really, for now, it’s just that the potential is there

17. she’s my religion by pale waves

so as to not repeat myself too much and because this is so much fookin writing already, this is another song that talks about how deeply and dangerously kiana falls into others. she’s no angel, but she’s my religion, always finding ways to numb the pain ... made me feel like i was finally enough ... she needs this love just as much as me

18. space cadet by beabadoobee

this song has similar themes to alien, but rather than about being special, it’s about being in a shitty place and letting your mind wander to create a better reality. ki has her interests, her extreme love of her fandoms, because it’s an escape for her. that’s not something i personally approve of, however, it’s a common reality for many people. living in these online spaces and thinking of these fictional worlds gives her a place to go to when the irl world is too difficult for her to handle

19. me! me! me! by teddyloid

you might think this is a meme addition and sure! to a degree it is! but i’m also going to talk about it as an actual piece of music and visuals. first we’ll talk about the music video. kiana feels complicated about the type of anime fans that oversexualize everything, so in general, she likes a message that’s against those types. the message of addiction tearing real life relationships apart also is something kiana sorta needs to hear. the lyrics of the song itself talk about an all consuming type of relationship, and dissects it to explain how it wasn’t love, but worship, which was dangerous to them both. it’s a song that kiana perhaps would need to take to heart, but i, as her mun, am unsure if she ever will. that depends on the connections she forms, and what types of people are goading her on, or trying to get her to stop

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

[happinessinthedarkest-times]

avengers endgame reaction (spoilers!!!)

**if youre on mobile scroll fast bc idk if the keep reading works

holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck

i am an emotional wreak right now

ahhhhh it was so good im crying still

tony fucking stark my heart i guess ill start there 

tony stark i love you three thousand. he got his happy ending with morgan and pepper for 5 years they had 5 years together and he knew that the time heist (lol) would jeopardize that and he still went and helped

that scene where he had it out with steve at the beginning fuck my heart was breaking and i was crying .

i cried a lot in this movie. legit sobbing when nat died but ill get to that

that scene was everything i wanted it to be and perfectly executed. of course hes angry and lashing out because they were supposed to do it together and lose together and the emotion behind that ughh rdj killed it

he literally hands steve his heart the arch reactor

tony and howard ugh everything with them together. tony got closure with his dad 

everything tony was great. 

steve 

he got his happy ending. he got his dance with peggy (now im crying again) fuck. and he PICK UP MJOLNIR omg that scene was amazing and everything i never dreamed could happen when the hammer started moving ughhhh omg i was cheering so loud in the theatre and i dont normally do that. that whole scene ugh theres so much to react to

and he got to say assemble. 

ok now from the beginning. 

i started to cry literally before it even started. the screen was black and i was already tearing up but when clint and his daughter came up and then his family disappeared i was full on crying.

carol coming in clutch and saving tony and nebula yessss

steve and tony’s conversation right when he gets off the ship was everything i wanted it to be. (crying again) everything. 

when they go to thanos’s house thing and thor chops off his arm . its what ive been saying they shouldve done on titan 

and then he went for the head! 

five....... 

years later

fuck them. literally when the ‘five’ came up i was like no no no dont you dare do it dont you dare and then they did it. fuck them

five fucking years?!?! they made them live through 5 years of that trauma?!?!? 

nat was everything in this film. she became the leader and keeping track of everything and her moment of breaking down was just so human. she couldnt move on in those 5 years and it just shows how much the avengers had become her family. 

scott and cassie omg cassie all grown up made me so emotional 

tony and morgan i love you three thousand she is the cutest and sweetest thing 

tony fucking stark figured out time travel. he did that. 

when tony gives steve his shield back my heart could not take it

the scenes where they were trying to pinpoint the exact time to go back and it was like a sleepover sesh and all the domestic avenger fanfics 

going back a little bit

clint killing all the people that should have been killed and deserved to be killed and being a total badass showing up all those people who said he was just really good with an arrow and every scene he has with nat.

‘dont give me hope’

thor. oh where to start. he really did lose everything and he was blaming himself for all that happened so i get where hes coming from. every time you could see him remembering and tormenting himself about what happened broke me. his scene with his mother (crying again)

also hulk/bruce was an interesting choice (not a huge fan of it but ok) 

the time traveling

everything about the new york scenes were amazing. the aftermath of the end of the avengers, loki turning into cap for a second, seeing rumlow and sitwell come out, steve getting into the elevator and channeling that winter soldier energy (i was slapping my sister on the arm so hard at this part) hail hydra and outsmarting them all. cap fighting cap “i can do this all day” lmao i was dying ‘bucky is alive” again dying they really nailed it with this. i was worried beforehand because like it would change how we would see the og avengers but i still think it works

also can talk about how tony (and scott) was checking out steves ass????

“i forgot how that suit did nothing for you ass” (be still my heart) “i like to think of it at america’s ass” (or whatever the line was) 

loki getting away with the tesseract (is that in this timeline im confused about that hopefully someone will explain bc does that mean loki is alive in this timeline or not? lol)

them going back to the 1970s (do you trust me? i do) and tony meeting howard and introducing himself as howard potts. again i know i talked about howard and tony already but i loved their scenes. and JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER MAKING AN APPEARANCE OMG

PEGGYYYYYYY (crying) when steve walked into her office (grabbed my sister again) and when he was watching her through the window and you could feel his pain. 

thor and rocket are the pairing that i never imagined but amazing none the less. i loved that we got the return of mjolnir here even though idk what that does to the timeline (again who knows at this point) 

rhodey and nebula again another pairing i didnt expect but are great together. everything about nebula in this film. she really has a great arch. i was stressing out so hard when the alternate timeline thanos found out that they came from the past. the scene where peter quill is dancing and singing to no music was great.

clint and natasha. this pairing thie duo the og. fuck my heart. when they started going off to vormir i knew. i knew it and i cannot handle it. the whole scene where they are fighting each other to sacrifice themself i was SOBBING. LEGIT SOBBING. ‘let me go’ i loved this so much and also hated it. she deserved her happy ending too. after everything she gave up everything to save those people. her arch is so good too. im excited for her origin. i kinda want to see her when shes a bad guy and killing everyone and her journey to shield. i hope thats what we’ll see in her movie. 

but also that scene emotionally fucked me up hard. 

the og avengers (minus nat) sitting on the edge of the lake 

thor trying to put on the glove and redeem himself (in his own eyes not my own bc he doesnt deserve the shit he gets for not going for the head)

hulk doing it and the calm before the storm where everything goes back before that missile comes firing down. 

steve tony and thor facing off with thanos. everything about this scene. tony getting a juice-up from thor and lightning to max out his powers. steve jump kicking on thanos’s ass. thanos beating up thor and steve coming in with FUCKING MJOLNIR AGAIN CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I WAS CHEERING AT THIS POINT HE IS WORTHY MY BOY STEVE IS WORTHY

also on that note tony coming up to steve and saying “theres my man” or something and giving him back his shield again. 

steve standing there with his broken shield ready to face off with thanos’s army and sam coming in on the comm. and then EVERYONE COMING THRU AND KICKING NAMES AND TAKING ASS

legit cheering and crying so much 

valkyrie with her pegasus

shuri with her blasters 

peter parker and his reunion with tony was heartbreaking. tony looked so broken and complete at the same time. he got him back. 

PEPPER FREAKING POTTS 

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (YEESSSSSSSS)

peter quill’s semi-reunion with gamora and how she doesnt know him but he gets her back

also gamora, nebula and still-evil!nebula was a great scene. nebula killing her past self is some symbolic shit right there AND to protect her sister who she hated

CAROL FUCKING DANVERS COMING TO SAVE THE DAY AND KICK THANOS’S ASS 

im sad that she wasn’t in the film as much but i get why they did it and it also makes me really excited for her future films

but carol getting the gauntlet and peter saying “i dont know how youre gonna get through that” 

and ALL THE BADASS MCU WOMEN COMING UP BEHIND HER READY TO FIGHT AND REPRESENT FOR THE FEMALES (CRYING) 

this is something that couldn’t of been done a few years ago because there weren’t a lot of female superheroes in this universe and just the fact that this scene can make such an impression and become probably one of the most badass scenes of the mcu is one of the best things that came out of this movie.

side note: ‘activate instant kill’ great callback 

and then we get to the sacrifice.

i knew it. i expected it. i read it in fanfics.

i was still not prepared. 

‘I am inevitable’

‘I AM IRON MAN’

FUCKKKKKKKK they really know how to write these movies. 

he knew he would die. he knew he would never see morgan again. but he knew what he had to do. 

his character arch from a selfish man to a selfless man has been the most profound and powerful story. 

rdj and tony stark have really carried this franchise. they were the start. and it makes sense that his death closes out this era of the mcu. 

to rdj: i will never forgive my mom for telling me that she didn’t like you way back when. that really influenced how i thought about you and about tony stark for years. and i limited me from really appreciating and loving iron man and those movies and tony’s character. but as i continued to watch more of you in the mcu and in real life and have seen how you have grown and who you are today, i have so much love and respect for you and your character. im just so upset at the time i lost where i could have fallen even more in love with you. thank you so much for everything you have done over the last 11 years for this franchise. thank you for the time thank you for the memories and the laughs. the journey has been amazing. 

the funeral scene with ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ 

(also was the the kid from iron man 3 in the back?)

VALKYRIE BECOMING KING (queen? i say king but who knows) of new asgard. look at my killing baby all grown up and being the leader they need.

thor becoming a guardian basically. 

also was quill looking for his gamora? where was the gamora from this timeline on the ship? she wasn’t there in the scene so idk

also fighting with knives to see whos in charge lol

im glad people mentioned/mourned for nat too 

steve rogers 

steve.

i knew he wasn’t coming back.

bucky knew it too.

im wreaked

but at least he got his happy ending. he got his peggy (again idk what that does to her timeline) 

captain sam wilson america in the house.

(old steve looks like joe biden or is it just me lol)

they ended it with a steggy dance and kiss

it really was a perfect end to his story and it wrapped up his character really well. he got that life he deserved 

to chris evans: as this is probably the last time we will see you as captain america let me thank you too for the years and joy that you have brought to my life. youre it for me. you are the reason i became so invested in this world. when you jumped on the fake grenade i was in it with you. chris you are and will always be the best chris in my heart. your passion for this character and understanding of steve rogers and his motivations have created such a memorable performance. steve rogers will always be the og. he will always have my heart. i am so thankful that you took this opportunity and used it and made this character your own. you live up to the standards that steve holds for himself and i am so excited for your future. i am also so glad that you didn’t die in this movie bc i definitely could not have handled it if i had to watch both my favs die. i love you three thousand.

i literally cried throughout the whole movie. there were laughs, cheers, groans, stress, tears, and love throughout this film. i am so grateful that i am alive during this time in cinematic history. there will never be something as great or momentous as this film. a true culmination of 22 films. its never been done and i doubt itll ever be done again

i am also so impressed and amazed by how well this film turned out. it is just amazing how everything fell into place 

im sure ill read other people’s reactions and they will bring up points or problematic things that will taint my view on this movie but i dont want that to ruin my own experience

and for me, this was truly emotionally draining and fulfilling. the feeling of being in that theatre with all those people who love the characters as much as i do and experiencing this film for the first time is something i will never forget. 

people talk about how they remember lining up for star wars.

well i remember sobbing my eyes out when nat died, cheering along with everyone when cap picked up mjolnir and whipped thanos’s ass with it and when carol and the rest of the badass women of the mcu ready to kick ass, crying with everyone as the light went out in tony’s chest and eyes, watching as history was made in front of our eyes.

and the end credits with the og avengers getting recognition with their photos and autographs. 

i love this franchise and these films and these characters i dont know who i would be without them. 

one last thing

thank you to the og avengers. steve tony thor nat clint bruce. chris robert chris scarlett jeremy mark. you will always have a special place in my heart. you were there at the start. you were the reason this all could happen you were the reason i became so invested in these movies. you brought these characters to life and embodied them. you are all so much like your characters the casting is perfect. thank you for your dedication to your work to you fans and to your characters. it means so much that you all stuck through this together and that you are such great friends in real life and i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as to meet you all and thank you in person. 

[pocket-luv101]

What do you think of a fic where Mahiru is still pregnant and Machi kicks a lot at night and Kuro sings to calm her down? >

I think that’s a super cute scenario~

Mahiru tossed and turned in a vain attempt to find a comfortable position in her bed. It was difficult when the baby in her stomach refused to let her sleep. Her daughter had been kicking her the past ten minutes and it didn’t seem like she would stop soon. Usually, feeling her baby kick would fill her with awe and love but now it was keeping her up at night.

With a huff, Mahiru turned onto her back and looked at the clock on her bedside table. It was a little past midnight. She gently ran her hand over her large stomach and mumbled to her daughter, “I heard babies keep their parents up all night. I didn’t anticipate you’ll do that even before you’re born. Sweetie, I love your energy but it’s time to sleep. Please?”

She didn’t know if her baby heard her but there was another strong kick. Mahiru groaned slightly and that woke Kuro next to her. He noticed the small discomfort on her face and he sat up. Tenderly, he rubbed her stomach and he felt their daughter kick. “She’s staying up tonight too? You should’ve woken me up sooner if you were having trouble.”

“You have work tomorrow and I didn’t want to bother you.” She told him. His large hand stroking her stomach soothed Mahiru. “This is normal, Kuro. Just give her a few more minutes and then she’ll settle down. The books I read said her kicking like this is a good sign that she’s healthy and active. We only need to see a doctor if she suddenly changes her behaviour.”

“The books also said you should lay on your side when you’re pregnant. That might help,” He suggested and she nodded. Mahiru rolled onto her side and Kuro spooned her. With his arms wrapped around her, she nestled into his warmth. She was already his entire world and he couldn’t ask for anything more than her smile. Each day, she was able to give him a new reason to be happy. Their baby growing in her stomach was another gift she gave him.

“Mahiru, I was thinking, our daughter will probably be a lot like you. She clearly has too much energy and has a habit of interrupting people’s catnaps.” He chuckled when he felt a kick as if their daughter was chastising him for his comment. “I think the world would be better with more people like you. Someone sweet and kind and openminded.”

“I think it would be wonderful if she takes after you a little. She’ll be strong, loyal and someone people can rely on.” She closed her eyes and pictured Kuro holding their daughter. Mahiru placed her hand over his and threaded their fingers together. “Thinking simply, she’ll be her own person. I’m sure we’ll be able to raise her to be a great person.”

“You’re right. We do have a lot of experience between my siblings and the other Eves.” They both laughed at his little joke. He continued to stroked her stomach. Her eyelids began to feel heavy as his familiar touch lulled her.  

Even as she started to drift off to sleep, she mumbled to him. “I love you, Kuro. Can you sing us a song? It’ll help both of us fall asleep.”

It was a simple request but he didn’t know which lullaby to sing. He hummed a random tune at first. Mahiru loved the smooth timber of his voice and hummed along with him. Her sweet voice, like so many times before, made everything clear to him. “Ring a bell as if it’s the symbol of trust. The sound of a bell rings out and we evolve. Our fate connected by a ring.”

“You’re my ray of light.” She sang the rest of the song before she fell asleep in his arms. Kuro kissed her hair and drifted off to sleep holding his family.

If you haven’t listened to the character songs, you need to!

[solidburnreturned]

im gonna talk about! marney and topaz! their characters and relationship and how having pepper changed things for them. this is rly long but it feels good to write it all out

- marney and topaz have a rly complex relationship thats full of support and like...give-and-take. neither has more control over the other. theyre both stubborn in their own ways and strive to please one another thru compromise. their relationship has a lot of hard work behind it their bond is super strong and loving

- topaz is very level headed and relaxed while marney is more of a worrier and feels her emotions a bit more intensely. topaz works as a gardener while marney works in construction. both are pretty large trolls with a good amount of strength, being half giant troll. they spent a while working in the same general areas and flirting by trying to show off their strength to each other before topaz was like “hey do you wanna. hang out” bhjdfksd. they were both around 20-21 when they started dating

- they got married young (24-25 y/o) and lived with each other at the troll tree. they both had wanted kids for a while but marney was too nervous for a really long time to have a baby while they both were still at the troll tree. worried about one or both of them getting eaten and not being there to raise the baby, the trolling pod getting damaged or ripped apart, the baby getting taken, etc. marney has some real demons when it comes to close family members getting taken from her

- topaz managed to convince her after she showed marney this rly secluded, safe little hole in the tree that they thought would be safe from the bergens. they planted their little hair seed and took rly good care of the pod plant! they were both super excited to finally start a little family, even with the grim situation. by that time almost all of their own family had been eaten except for topaz’s brother (who i have not developed at all but he’s eve’s father) so the stress of literally just staying alive was a lot but they wanted to really try and be there for their baby. things were going so well they actually started planning to plant a second (and third) hair seed

- around the 2 months 1 week point (i headcanon that trollings take about 3 months/12 weeks to develop in the pod) the pod had started to turn a really bright red color, which easily attracted the attention of chef. marney and topaz hid and thought their trolling pod was hidden well enough while chef came thru to take more trolls, and they were absolutely horrified when they saw chef rooting around in the knothole in the tree that the trolling pod was in with her fingers trying to grab it. chef just ended up like giving up and moving on to other, more accessible trolls eventually and marney and topaz just had to sit and wait until she left before they could go and check on the pod

- topaz and marney are both So Devastated when they see the pod all smashed and dying. topaz feels guilty for pushing marney to start a family when she was scared and now both their worst fears were just confirmed. theyre torn to pieces and just sit there with the crushed pod crying

- but then!!!! they hear a little baby crying!! inside the pod that they thought was crushed was a tiny babby......very premature, like she doesnt have all her color yet, her ears are crinkled up, hardly any hair, eyes arent even open yet, but shes alive!! and theyre both just completely overjoyed and take her back to their own pod immediately to make sure she’s okay since baby trollings laugh when theyre born, they dont cry (shes fine just scared/upset that she was kicked out of the pod so early lmao)

- marney becomes incredibly protective over baby pepper. topaz is protective too, but marney is next level. that baby is by her side almost 24/7. all wrapped up tight in a little blanket, tucked up in her hair. topaz wants to tell marney to calm down, but she still feels guilty over the entire situation, so she lets marney be a total helicopter parent for a while

- once pepper is at the level of development she shouldve been, marney does relax a tiny bit. pepper is still rly tiny and her ears never quite straightened out (which is why theyre kinda bent in her design) but shes plumped up and got a cute lil afro and marney’s eyes! they both love this happy lil baby to death

- as pepper gets older topaz and marney continue to disagree on parenting styles. topaz wants to let pepper live and learn, let her fall down and learn to pick herself back up, let her learn from experience. marney wants to keep pepper as safe as possible and wants her by marney’s side at all times. she hovers over pepper when shes learning to walk, freaks out if she does normal baby stuff like cough a little when eating or spits up or falls, and has trouble with leaving her alone for any length of time. marney argues that shes keeping their only child safe, while topaz argues that marney is doing the opposite by sheltering pepper

- this disagreement and the bad first experience with raising a trolling pod squashes out any want for more babies, which makes them both sad honestly

- once the troll tree escape happens and they make themselves comfortable in the new village (pepper is around 1-2 years old at this point), marney calms down considerably, feeling that the biggest threat to her family is gone. topaz is really glad to see her wife chill out and they both work together to raise pepper

- pepper’s rebellious years (13-16) are not received well by marney, who can do nothing but worry, but topaz is a little more relaxed about it. she recognizes that pepper is exploring some identities and is reacting to marney’s overprotective parenting. she doesnt let pepper get away with EVERYTHING but shes more lenient and understanding. this really annoys marney who just has the worst feeling that something bad is going to happen to pepper eventually if she keeps up this wild behavior. marney was also not thrilled when pepper got her motorcycle

- cue pepper’s bike crash, and marney is back to being obsessive with keeping her safe. topaz is also back to feeling guilty, feeling like if she had listened to marney and been a little stricter with pepper she wouldnt be in this situation. this is probably the heaviest, roughest part of marney and topaz’s relationship/marriage. it took pepper 1.5 years to recover fully (between the initial bodily trauma, physical therapy, and emotional/mental damage) and it took marney and topaz half of that time to not be so upset with each other, talk things out openly and honestly, and work together to be there for their daughter

- fast forward to the present. pepper hasnt lived with her parents for 4-5 years and is independent. marney and topaz are both proud of her and each other! marney is careful to not be so overbearing anymore, but can slip up and be a total worrier still. topaz does her best to not carry any guilt regarding the emotional toll on marney from pepper’s haphazard pod delivery/crash and the toll the crash took on pepper. she does sometimes wish she was a bit more careful like marney, but figures that together they balance each other out quite well. they have a lot more open communication about their wants/needs/feelings

- marney and topaz live together happily and love each other very much!!! 

[jisokai]

Hello! The jumin cheating fic was really a heart breaker. Can you write an alternate ending (happy ending) loving your writings by the way ♥♥

aaa im sorry this has taken so long!! ive been trying to get a system up where i write for 2 inboxes a day so i can catch up to them all, but then i get two more… but feel free to keep requesting!! it helps motivate me to get shit done! someone also requested an angsty ending to the scenario, so ill try to get that done later today and link it up. the original post is here, and my masterlist is here,, enjoy!! 

this scenario could take a few different endings, so i decided to write two endings (normal and good) you could consider happy. [spoiler for the scenario] i wrote a normal ending where mc dies but on good terms with jumin, and a good ending where she lives and jumin makes things right [end spoiler] im not gonna say what the bad end is but you can probably guess what im planning….

jumin cheating scenario - good & normal ending

normal ending [death mentions]

- it only took jumin a week to find where you went- he had all sorts of connections, you couldnt hide forever- but you tried really hard- as soon as he saw where you were headed, he knew you were headed to your parents house- you wanted to tell them about your illness and plans to travel the world for a few of your remaining months- currently, you were planning to stay home for a couple more days, leave for about three months, and then come home and stay with your family when you grew weaker and neared death- but jumin showed up a week into your stay with your parents (a variable you didnt take into account but really shouldve)- he starts apologizing, tears falling as he begs for your forgiveness and a possible second chance- he promises to do better and stay faithful, trying everything he can to win you back and stay with him- you sigh and close your eyes, deciding to explain the situation- you tell him that the cheating wasnt what drove you away, but that you might die soon- you explain you dont want to go back to that life and spend the last bit of it with someone who already has your replacement- you tell him your plans to travel and see the world before its over- hes in shock when he finds out about this and offers to try and get doctors behind you to fight for a cure- you just decline and say you dont want his help and youve already accepted what was to come- he hesitantly leaves you after that, understanding your situation and telling you to call if you ever need anything- the next day theres a large sum of money transferred to your bank account and you accept it, what do you have to lose?- you have a wonderful three months of travel, seeing so much and meeting so many great people- you return home and spend your last remaining time with your family- jumin comes by to visit a couple times, holding your hand and telling you he loves you, even after all hes done- when your time ends and your body lays limp on the bed, jumin cries and mourns for you- days pass and he still mourns, unable to let you go- he ends things with the other person, he cant bring himself to do it anymore- he carrys on, but its not the same without you- he reverts back to his unemotional state and works like a robot, efficient as ever but tangled inside- however, once a year when he visits your grave, he lets himself cry 

good ending

- you didnt make it on the plane- you sat at the gate, waiting for your group to be called while jumin was running around the streets looking for you- but when you stood to get in line, he was running down the halls of the airport- and a scream of “MC!” got your attention, making you look back in awe at the business man clumsily running to get you back- jumin stands in front of you panting- “mc,, please come back and think this through. i promise to do better, ill do anything.. just, please not so soon. i cant live without you”- you sigh and he just continues his rambling before you have to cut him off- “jumin i have a terminal illness. im probably going to die within six months”- hes shocked, eyes widening and the fear is so big in his eyes- “ i wasnt planning to leave you until i found out. i didnt want to live like how i am for the rest of my short life”- hes speechless, unable to understand what you were saying- “m-mc oh my god… when did you find out? what do you plan to do?”- “i found out earlier today and i plan to see my family and then travel around the world”- he still cant understand it, “mc come back to me, please.. we can get the best doctors and treatments, im sure of it! we still have time, we can make this-”- you cut him off “jumin no. six months is what i have and i cant spend that time mending a broken relationship.”- he took a deep breath and looked you in the eyes “two months. come back to me after two months. ill give you the money for travelling and leave you alone. afterwards, come back to me. ill find the best people i can and we will push to cure you. please mc, i cant live without you.”- you hold eye contact for a few moments and sigh before replying- “jumin i love you and i believe in you, but even if i live, who knows if youll cheat again. will it really be worth it? no matter how long i live, i dont want the rest of my life being spent with someone who isnt loyal”- he put a hand on your shoulder “two months”- ,,…..- you sighed and agreed, “fine. but you only get two months in return. if i dont seem to be recovering, we’ll give up on it. i dont want needles in my body for the rest of my life either.”- he smiled so big his face hurt, “deal.”- two amazing months passed and you were back in his apartment- during his two months he found amazing doctors and treatments and would do everything to cure your illness- he had ended his affair, devoting himself entirely to you- the first month was hell, trying to get samples and make comparison, choosing treatments and setting up a plan- but when the second month came, you went a week without vomiting blood and new hope arised- you knew treatment would be long, but the signs were so big you had to do it- the full recovery took over a year, but it was so fucking worth it- jumin was there by your side for the entire road- he checked up on you everyday and sat with you every night to help you sleep- his commitment to you during this time restored your faith in him and the relationship you both have- when you fully recovered, the two of you decided to try again at love- you also became well known for being a survivor of a certain terminal illness and traveled to give speeches and talk about your story- you paired with his company for advertising and starting a new branch in health related business- but most importantly, your lives became one again and you could return to how your relationship used to be- he makes sure to tell you he loves you every day, he makes sure to sit by you in the mornings long enough to watch you wake up, and he works to prove his love every day- and he saved you in a way, so why wouldnt you let him try again?- and youre so happy you did, because things truly did work out in the best way possible